Right here, I'll be live blogging the SAG Awards, from the Red Carpet (at 6 on E!) to the actual award show (at 8 on both TBS and TNT, don't ask me why). And during breaks, I'll be flipping to the end of the NHL All Star Game (currently in the 2nd period on Versus) and the NFL Pro Bowl (at 7 on Fox). And I may just stop by the Knicks game too. So settle in, get your refresh button ready, and comment along as we celebrate the award show that has the best opening despite not having a host...
5:40- I'm not a huge NHL fan (most likely because my team, the Islanders, are just historically awful), but this all star weekend has been phenominal. They did a fantasy draft for the teams, which is possibly the most ingenious idea ever. Hopefully the NBA will follow suit.
5:49- Team Lidstrom has their first lead of the game! Granted, 7-6 is not a real hockey score, but wouldn't it be exciting if this went to a shootout? Still a long time to go...
6:00- Oh my god, Carrie is smoking aga- wait I don't care about this Sex and the City rerun. Come on E!, I'm ready for 2 hours of Red Carpet Coverage of an award show most people don't realize exist. And here we go. Guliana Rancic and... Ross the Intern? Where's Seacrest?
6:03- Giuliana and Ross are gunna be rough to listen to, so it may not be too much red carpet blogging from me. The British fashion girl, on the other hand, I very much enjoy.
6:09- Scott Bakula should prewrite his toasts
6:11- Yes! Let's make the 15-year-old Oscar nominee feel awkward and uncomfortable!
6:13- Either Chord Overstreet is much shorter than I thought, or Giuliana is wearing 2 foot heels.
6:15- What happens when you have 2 gay guys comparing pocket squares on national tv? Ross and Jesse Tyler Ferguson are letting us find out.
6:18- It looks like, if form holds, we will pass the 1,000 hit mark tonight, so preemptively- thank you!
6:20- Jesse Eisenberg, just as awkward as he was hosting SNL last night. Giuliana clearly didn't see it. Also he's pretty much a jackass.
6:22- Oh wow, last night was actually the first time Eisenberg and Zuckerberg met. I figured that was just a joke. Okay, I give Eisenberg a little more credit now, cuz that must have been nerveracking.
6:28- Sarah Hyland is unfairly attractive. It's sometimes easy to forget that, because they have to make her look much younger on Modern Family, but she is very, very attractive. Typically, Diana Agron is too, but she seems to have used Michelle Bachmann's makeup artist tonight.
6:30- Wow a penalty shot! Lundquist denies him! 7-7 with about 13 minutes left! Shoot out! Shoot out!
6:32- I missed the beginning of the interview, but I did not recognize Army Hammer (Social Network) at all. And Giuliana is obsessed with the Jesse Eisenberg/Mark Zuckerberg meeting. And Jane Krakowski looks very pregnant, as I now remember why we saw a bump in Jenna storylines recently. Probably a downward trend for the rest of the season.
6:38- With 10 minutes left, Team Lidstrom tied it back up at 8-8. I'm feeling the shoot out!
6:39- But now Team Lidstrom jumps ahead! 9-8! Geez!
6:40- They seem obsessed with showing Angie Harmon, who if my calculations are correct, was last relevent in 2001. But she's a presenter! Jenna Ushkowski (Glee) apparaently has tattoos. She looks much better tonight than she did at the Globes.
6:45- Our fashion expert was expecting a lot of red and orange, and good news- Mila Kunis is wearing red! Jennifer Lawrence, who was nominated for something, is now being interviewed. She's 20 and pretty much drop dead gorgeous. Don't know anything else about her though. Winter's Bone, that's the film.
6:47- Okay, Agron's makeup doesn't look quite as bad in the interview. Still, looks very different than she looks on Glee, not sure what it is.
6:50- Oh boy, Tracy Morgan. Last time he was interviewed, during the Knicks-Heat game on TNT, it didn't go so well. He's thanking his kidney-donating ex-girlfriend. And "Sarah Palin, you're the hottest MILF in the world!" So clearly he's not apologizing for that interview.
6:52- As Giuliana asks Ed Helms to make a sex tape for her, we see Mad Men guest star (former guest star?) Cara Buono, who looks much better in 00s fashion than 60s fashion. And Modern Family's Julie Bowen apparently watches Giuliana and Bill's reality show, and tells her not to have kids.
6:53- An empty net goal for Team Lidstrom makes it 11-9, but with over a minute to go, this isn't over.
6:56- And Staal scores with 33.6 sec to go, making it 11-10. They got the shots off, but couldn't make it. And that's your game.
6:58- Naya Rivera and Chord Overstreet definitely want you to know that they are not dating. Not. Absolutely not.
7:00- Mila Kunis looks the same age as Sarah Hyland. For the record, she's 7 years older. But either way, she was born 4 years after the 70s ended, and was still in That 70s Show.
7:01- At some point, Sofia Vergara having enormous breasts is going to get old. But we're not there yet.
7:03- Giuliana Rancic is an expert at making celebrities feel awkward. She's succeeded in every single interview tonight. Like asking Vergara "when did you realize your boyfriend was a keeper?" and "what body part would you most like to change?"
7:05- Of course Jeff Probst officiated Jenna Fischer's wedding. That makes sense. I assume Boston Rob had to be best man.
7:07- Fischer gives some possible spoilers re:Carell leaving. John Krasinski counters by criticizing Giuliane, legitimately.
7:09- SI's Joe Posnanski just referred to the Pro Bowl as "One more chance to see the Fox Football Robot dance." That's about how much attention I'll be paying to it. Meanwhile Jane Lynch proposed a Glee threesome with her, Javier Bardem, and Penelope Cruz. Yeah, that made even Giuliana feel uncomfortable.
7:12- Nothing like an all star game that gets the label of "nearly sold out." Oh Pro Bowl...
7:14- January Jones much more conservative tonight than at the Globes, but still looks pretty good. She also wants to do a comedy guest gig to soften her image, but can't because people are afraid of her because of her character on Mad Men.
7:16- And here's Claire Danes. I'll save you the suspense- she'll win best actress in a miniseries/made-for-tv movie for her role as Temple Grandin. I hope she's here tonight, but it doesn't sound like it. Lea Michele looks very good tonight.
7:17- Heather Morris is still the hottest person I've ever seen. Just saying.
7:23- Pro Bowl jerseys are pretty hideous this year. Just saying.
7:25- Natalie Portman pulls off pregnant very well. But, in a worrisome development, Giuliana is suggesting terrible baby names. WE NEED SEACREST!
7:27- Jon Hamm looks pretty much like Jon Hamm always looks. He promises to text Ross as soon as he knows when Mad Men comes back.
7:30- Giuliana stated she was dying because of Nicole Kidman's dress, but she kept on going with the interview. She and Keith Urban apparently just adopted, so that's nice.
7:32- Now we have Batman himself, Christian Bale, who I always forget is British. It's his birthday. I bet he wins an award as a birthday gift. Or because people liked him a lot in The Fighter.
7:35- Amy Adams looks very good, but that doesn't stop Giuliana from asking her if she's more like "a street-tough broad or a Disney princess?" You know, cuz she's played both.
7:38- Julia Styles looks really, really good. James Franco is going off about how he doesn't tweet. And halfway through the 1st quarter, we have a scoreless Pro Bowl.
7:42- JT is apparently a married woman. He's also cool with being referred to as JT, which is good because I wasn't typing out Justin Timberlake, except for just now when I did. "This is definitely the best red carpet interview ever." But Giuliana is countering with a look back of their previous interviews. Also JT turns 30 tomorrow. Wow.
7:45- Christina Hendricks is in a bit more of a modern look than she normally wears, even off set. She still looks very good, yet Giuliana seems more interested in talking to her husband. I don't know why.
7:47- Are there actually rumors that Hendricks will be the new Wonder Woman? Because that's going to be a tv show, and I feel like she's already on a pretty good one...
7:49- We get our first look of Helena Bonham Carter, who Ross calls "an art piece." The hair is odd, but the dress is...well it's odd, but not as odd as the Globes dress. Also Tina Fey went bright red. That seems not like her.
7:50- Hey look, the NFC scored, it's 7-0. And Philip Rivers just threw a pick, this could be a blowout. The suspense, however, is really whether or not I'll remember to check in again.
7:52- Our first check-in of the Knicks, who are up 19-12, with a hot Gallo and Mozgov playing!
7:54- Kim Kardashian is here with her brother. I don't know why.
7:55- Mark Wahlberg forgot to shave. I don't care, but it's pretty noticable in HD.
7:59- This should close out our Red Carpet coverage, so let's flip the channel and head to the actual award show. Who gets to announce that they are an actor?
8:01- Actually we're pretty much kicking this off by recapping the red carpet. Remember all those people we looked at over the past 2 hours? Guess what, they're all still there, plus many more!
8:03- Our intros tonight- Jack McBrayer! Cracking up Chris Parnell. Julianna Margulies! Rico Rodriguez! Melissa Leo! Julia Stiles! And our first presenters- Betty White and Alec Baldwin! The year of Betty White literally will never end.
8:05- White- "Aren't we lucky to both still be working at our age." Outstanding actor in a drama. I picked Hamm as my pick and Cranston as the likely winner, and the winner is Steve Buscemi! 0/1
8:08- Actors apparently don't play actors off. This could be a while. Annette Benning and Mark Ruffalo of The Kids are Alright are next. They're summarizing the film. No idea why Julianne Moore isn't involved.
8:12- I just want to mention in Oscar predictions, I accurately guessed 10 of 10 best picture nominees. Legendary film critic Roger Ebert only went 9 of 10. Next is Cory Monteith and Eva Longoria for tv dramatic actress. I picked Margulies as my pick and as the likely winner, and the winner is Margulies. 1/2
8:16- How often do we get to the thank the in-laws part of the speech?
8:17- BTW the Pro Bowl is a 21-0 NFC blowout, while the Knicks are tied at 36, so breaks will be exclusively Knicks it seems.
8:22- We now go to the uberattractive presenting duo of Taye Diggs and Sofia Vergara. Outstanding Ensemble in a Drama. I picked Mad Men as my pick and Boardwalk Empire as the likely winner, and the winner is Boardwalk Empire. 2/3
8:28- Dennis Haysbert is introducing an advertisement acting montage.
8:30- That was a lot of excellent free advertising for a lot of companies. Here's Jason Bateman. January Jones doesn't seem impressed. Female Actor in Supporting Role for Film- I picked Carter as my pick and Steinfeld as the likely winner, and the winner is Melissa Leo. 2/4
8:35- And Leo gets political with a pro-union stance as we enter our second break.
8:40- It's now 42-0 NFC. That was fun. Here's Amy Poehler. Guess what? She's funny. Male actor in a comedy series. I picked Burrell as my pick and Carell as the likely winner, and the winner is Alec Baldwin. 2/5
8:43- At this point Baldwin just mocks the previous acceptance speeches. Here's Jon Hamm, presenting actress in a comedy series. I picked Lynch as my pick and as the likely winner, and the winner is Betty White. Yup. That happened. 2/6
8:48- One has to wonder if this award show is really more serious than the Golden Globes. I mean, I get Betty White is in, and she was great in that Sandra Bullock/Ryan Reynolds movie and on SNL, but for Hot in Cleveland? Really. Now HBC, Geoffrey Rush, and Colin Firth introduce my favorite movie of the year, The King's Speech.
8:50- Here are Angie Harmon and LL Cool J with our best ensemble for a comedy series. I picked 30 Rock as my pick and Modern Family as the likely winner, and the winner is Modern Family. 3/7
8:54- Ed O'Neill seems genuinely touched to be accepting this award. So good for them.
8:58- Just a thought- maybe no actor watched Hot in Cleveland after the first episode, assumed it must have gotten better for TVLand to pick it up for 2 more seasons, and assumed Betty White was the reason, and voted for her. Or they like her cuz she's old or something.
9:00- I'd rather tweet the SAGs with Jason Sehorn than Angie Harmon. Here are Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis presenting Black Swan.
9:01- Tim Conway is introducing Ernest Borgnine, tonight's Life Achievement award winner, the first SAG Life Achievement award winner to be a guest on SNL's What Up With That
9:06- We're on an Ernest Borgnine montage right now, and then I bet he speaks. Meanwhile the Knicks trail by 5 in the 3rd and the NFC leads 42-7 at the half.
9:11- First, Red costar Morgan Freeman (and Borgnine's coguest on WUWT) is going to speak. And now here's Ernie.
9:14- Time for the In Memoriam segment. My hammer pick- Dennis Hopper.
9:17- The Knicks have knotted it up at 77 in the 3rd!
9:20- First we have male actor in a tv movie/miniseries. I didn't pick, but I bet it will be Al Pacino. And it is. But he couldn't be there. Congrats Jeremy Renner, you just got an award. Now, the 4 men of The Social Network present their film.
9:23- Here are Rosario Dawson and Mr. Fergie presumably presenting actress in a tv movie/miniseries. And they are. Again, this will be Claire Danes as Temple Grandin in Temple Grandin. Hey guess what guys? It's Claire Danes!
9:27- Hillary Swank introduces our in memoriam tribute. We open wityh Jill Clayburgh. And we close with Dennis Hopper. RIP.
9:37- Susan Sarandon just lost, but now she gets to present male actor in a supporting role. I picked Rush as my pick and Bale to win, and the winner is Bale. 4/8
9:40- Bale brings up the guy he played in The Fighter. Then he talks about how these speeches often get long and boring, before delivering a long and boring speech.
9:41- And here are Bale's costars, Mark Wahlberg and Amy Adams, to introduce The Fighter. Wahlberg also gives a shoutout to Boardwalk Empire, which I believe he produces.
9:43- Here is your defending Male Actor, Jeff Bridges, presenting the Female equivilent. I picked Portman as my pick and to win, and the winner is Portman. Shocker.
9:47- The AFC has come back a bit, while the Knicks are up.
9:52- We're gunna go in speed mode now, cuz we're running out of time. Nicole Kidman presents Best Actor. I have Firth as my pick and to win, and the winner is Firth. Just a stunner.
9:57- And we're at best cast of a film. The Fighter. Black Swan. The King's Speech. The Kids are Alright. The Social Network. I picked The King's Speech, with The Social Network to win. Presenting is Donald Sutherland. And our winner is The King's Speech. Hooray!
10:00- Rush speaks, because "at one point the film was going to be called The King's Speech Therapist." Happy for the film, makes the Oscars a very interesting match between The King's Speech (DGA and SAG winner) and The Social Network (GG winner). And that does it for the show! And the Knicks win 124-106! But there are 9 minutes left in the Pro Bowl, so let's keep this up!
10:01- I'm kidding. I can't live-tweet the Pro Bowl. It just isn't that interesting. Have a good night, and thanks for reading!
Sunday, January 30, 2011
SAG Awards Predictions
Tonight is the 17th annual Screen Actors Guild Awards. I will (probably) live-blog the show. Here are my picks for winners. The only categories I left out are the stunt cast and miniseries/tv-movie categories, because it would be presumptious of me to pretend I knew. Who I would pick is in bold, who I think will win is in italics.
Outstanding Performance by a Male Actor in a Leading Role
- Jeff Bridges - True Grit
- Robert Duvall - Get Low
- Jesse Eisenberg - The Social Network
- Colin Firth - The King's Speech
- James Franco - 127 Hours
Outstanding Performance by a Female Actor in a Leading Role
- Annette Bening - The Kids Are All Right
- Nicole Kidman - Rabbit Hole
- Jennifer Lawrence - Winter's Bone
- Natalie Portman - Black Swan
- Hilary Swank - Conviction
Outstanding Performance by a Male Actor in a Supporting Role
- Christian Bale – The Fighter
- John Hawkes – Winter's Bone
- Jeremy Renner - The Town
- Mark Ruffalo – The Kids Are All Right
- Geoffrey Rush – The King's Speech
Outstanding Performance by a Female Actor in a Supporting Role
- Amy Adams – The Fighter
- Helena Bonham Carter – The King's Speech
- Mila Kunis – Black Swan
- Melissa Leo – The Fighter
- Hailee Steinfeld – True Grit
Outstanding Performance by a Cast in a Motion Picture
- Black Swan
- The Fighter
- The Kids Are All Right
- The King's Speech
- The Social Network
Television
Outstanding Performance by a Male Actor in a Drama Series
- Steve Buscemi - Boardwalk Empire
- Bryan Cranston - Breaking Bad
- Michael C. Hall - Dexter
- Jon Hamm - Mad Men
- Hugh Laurie - House
Outstanding Performance by a Female Actor in a Drama Series
- Glenn Close – Damages
- Mariska Hargitay – Law & Order: Special Victims Unit
- Julianna Margulies – The Good Wife
- Elisabeth Moss – Mad Men
- Kyra Sedgwick – The Closer
Outstanding Performance by a Male Actor in a Comedy Series
- Alec Baldwin - 30 Rock
- Ty Burrell - Modern Family
- Steve Carell - The Office
- Chris Colfer - Glee
- Ed O'Neill - Modern Family
Outstanding Performance by a Female Actor in a Comedy Series
- Edie Falco - Nurse Jackie
- Tina Fey - 30 Rock
- Jane Lynch – Glee
- Sofia Vergara – Modern Family
- Betty White – Hot in Cleveland
Outstanding Performance by an Ensemble in a Drama Series
- Boardwalk Empire
- The Closer
- Dexter
- The Good Wife
- Mad Men
Outstanding Performance by an Ensemble in a Comedy Series
- 30 Rock
- Glee
- Hot in Cleveland
- Modern Family
- The Office
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Some Random Thoughts About SNL 36x13: Eisenberg/Minaj
Tonight, Jesse Eisenberg is hosting SNL for the first time. Earlier this week he was nominated for an Academy Award for Best Actor for his performance in The Social Network. Earlier this season, Andy Samberg, as Mark Zuckerberg, had something to say about Eisenberg:
Nicki Minaj will make her first appearance as musical guest tonight.
Some predictions:
-Rumors have been going around all week that Zuckerberg himself will cameo tonight. I can easily see a sketch with Samberg as Zuckerberg, Eisenberg as Zuckerberg, and Zuckerberg as himself.
-Eisenberg's Social Network costar is Justin Timberlake, always a cameo possibility. If he does show up, I think a Barry Gibb Talk Show may be in line.
-I think we open with a State of the Union sketch.
See you back at 11:30
Sketch 1- And we've got CNN's coverage of Bachmann's 2nd attempt at responding to the SOTU. Wiig is Bachmann. And she still cannot look at the camera. And the chart is completely facing the wrong way. Now we get a blank graph. It's kinda funny, but the same joke over and over. Wiig's Bachmann is fine, but nothing spectacular. B+.
Monologue- Ooo Eisenberg is in a full suit. Apparently in real life he is cocky, and he's an expert in women. And here is Sudeikis as Zuckerberg, who's upset Eisenberg got nominated for an Oscar as him. And now the actual Zuckerberg is talking to Lorne. And it's an awkward meeting between Eisenberg and the real Zuckerberg. Predictable, but amusing. B+.
Sketch 2- Our ad promo isn't pubic hair replacement! It's for estrogen supplements for transvestites! The joke is all the men are mid-change transvestites. And then there's a TSA joke in there. "Men taking Estro-Maxx may gain an interest in TLC's Say Yes to the Dress" B.
Sketch 3- Nick at Nite's Mr. Wizard. Hader is Mr. Wizard, Eisenberg, Pedrad, Kenan, and Elliot are kids, and I'm assuming Gilly is showing up...maybe not, as Pedrad and Eisenberg are rubbing balloons on eachother's genitals. And that is apparently the entire sketch. And now we have a vibrating generator. You can pretty much guess where this went. Not good. D.
Sketch 4- Midbreak- Looks like we're getting Don't Forget the Lyrics. It is with Sudeikis as Mark McGrath who "does this now." Eisenberg is our contestant. First song- Joan Jett's "I Love Rock and Roll." I guess the joke is he's incredibly confident but is completely off on the lyrics. When he admits he's nervous, McGrath says it's understandable because "it's VH1 and it's 2:00 in the afternoon!" And he goes with "Doctor Doctor" over a Sugar Ray song, insulting McGrath. Next he thinks the lyrics of "Celebration" are "Celebrate Suddam Hussein." He needs to get the title of Tom Jones' "It's Not Unusual," but he keeps going with inappropriate lyrics. That was it. That was the joke. C.
NEXT WEEK- DANA CARVEY AND LINKIN PARK!
Sketch 5- WXPD News New York, Sudeikis is an anchor, and we're bringing back Herb the on site reporter, again celebrating his 50th year on air. This was horrendous last time. It doesn't seem much different today. Oddly his questions fit more for 60 years ago. This is just a pure waste of time. F.
Sketch 6- A Digital Short. "The Creep" is some sort of dance. It had a random cameo from John Waters. And that was pretty much it. Oh no, here's Nicki Minaj. And was that a famous TV Judge? Either way, not great. C.
Music 1- Nicki Minaj performed "Right Thru Me"
Weekend Update- Egypt. Bachmann. SOTU. Comcast-NBC merger. And here's Egypt's President Mubarak, played by Armisen. The people are upset because the internet is down, and Time Warner didn't come in the window they promised and he had to go to a meeting and then they came, so the internet is still down. "I'm hiring a new cabinet made up of fired members of the old cabinet." Kucinich's law suit. Charlie Sheen. No cheerleaders at the Super Bowl. Hotel waitresses. Elderly drivers. And commenting on Oscar nominations- Tyler Perry presents Tyler Perry, as portrayed by Kenan. He got no nominations, but he has a ton of money. Suicide survival. Lady Gaga fragrance. Jersey Shore. And that's all. Ehh. C+.
Just a warning here- Internet is acting up so posts may not be immediate.
Sketch 7- Another Turner Classic Movies sketch. They clearly like these. Today we look at 1970's Blacksploitation Horror Films. Here's a look at the Bride of Blackenstein. Pharaoh is the doctor, Kenan is the monster, Eisenberg is Igor, and Minaj is the bride of Blackenstein. This isn't very good. C-.
Sketch 8- Midbreak- We're looking at some sort of home set, decorated for a party. Samberg is MTV's head of programming. Ahh, we're going Skins. The set is falling around him, but he's not breaking. Eisenberg and Elliot are cast members in Skins, now featuring bad product placement. Also Killam and Pedrad. Just nonstop bad product placement. This is actually amusing as each product is more ridiculous than the last. And Elliot comes through by saying that the condoms Eisenberg just pitched "sound great for young vaginas." B.
Sketch 9- Spa Talk with Talya Wanters (sp?) played by Wiig. Elliot and Kenan are a fighting couple, and Talya is trying to help them. This is horrendous. Just pure garbage at this point. Here is the Vinetti family, played by Moynihan, Bayer (first time tonight?), and Eisenberg. Like the couple before, this family is fighting. And Talya is doing random stuff to them. This is pathetic. F.
Music 2- Minaj performed "Moment 4 Life," and inexplicably did it in her "Bride of Blackenstein wig.
Sketch 10- An advertisement for El Shrinko, for people who's penises are too big. Bad. D.
Overall- Just a horrible episode. It started semi-promising, and just went way downhill from there. Pathetic. Boo. Hiss. D-.
Nicki Minaj will make her first appearance as musical guest tonight.
Some predictions:
-Rumors have been going around all week that Zuckerberg himself will cameo tonight. I can easily see a sketch with Samberg as Zuckerberg, Eisenberg as Zuckerberg, and Zuckerberg as himself.
-Eisenberg's Social Network costar is Justin Timberlake, always a cameo possibility. If he does show up, I think a Barry Gibb Talk Show may be in line.
-I think we open with a State of the Union sketch.
See you back at 11:30
Sketch 1- And we've got CNN's coverage of Bachmann's 2nd attempt at responding to the SOTU. Wiig is Bachmann. And she still cannot look at the camera. And the chart is completely facing the wrong way. Now we get a blank graph. It's kinda funny, but the same joke over and over. Wiig's Bachmann is fine, but nothing spectacular. B+.
Monologue- Ooo Eisenberg is in a full suit. Apparently in real life he is cocky, and he's an expert in women. And here is Sudeikis as Zuckerberg, who's upset Eisenberg got nominated for an Oscar as him. And now the actual Zuckerberg is talking to Lorne. And it's an awkward meeting between Eisenberg and the real Zuckerberg. Predictable, but amusing. B+.
Sketch 2- Our ad promo isn't pubic hair replacement! It's for estrogen supplements for transvestites! The joke is all the men are mid-change transvestites. And then there's a TSA joke in there. "Men taking Estro-Maxx may gain an interest in TLC's Say Yes to the Dress" B.
Sketch 3- Nick at Nite's Mr. Wizard. Hader is Mr. Wizard, Eisenberg, Pedrad, Kenan, and Elliot are kids, and I'm assuming Gilly is showing up...maybe not, as Pedrad and Eisenberg are rubbing balloons on eachother's genitals. And that is apparently the entire sketch. And now we have a vibrating generator. You can pretty much guess where this went. Not good. D.
Sketch 4- Midbreak- Looks like we're getting Don't Forget the Lyrics. It is with Sudeikis as Mark McGrath who "does this now." Eisenberg is our contestant. First song- Joan Jett's "I Love Rock and Roll." I guess the joke is he's incredibly confident but is completely off on the lyrics. When he admits he's nervous, McGrath says it's understandable because "it's VH1 and it's 2:00 in the afternoon!" And he goes with "Doctor Doctor" over a Sugar Ray song, insulting McGrath. Next he thinks the lyrics of "Celebration" are "Celebrate Suddam Hussein." He needs to get the title of Tom Jones' "It's Not Unusual," but he keeps going with inappropriate lyrics. That was it. That was the joke. C.
NEXT WEEK- DANA CARVEY AND LINKIN PARK!
Sketch 5- WXPD News New York, Sudeikis is an anchor, and we're bringing back Herb the on site reporter, again celebrating his 50th year on air. This was horrendous last time. It doesn't seem much different today. Oddly his questions fit more for 60 years ago. This is just a pure waste of time. F.
Sketch 6- A Digital Short. "The Creep" is some sort of dance. It had a random cameo from John Waters. And that was pretty much it. Oh no, here's Nicki Minaj. And was that a famous TV Judge? Either way, not great. C.
Music 1- Nicki Minaj performed "Right Thru Me"
Weekend Update- Egypt. Bachmann. SOTU. Comcast-NBC merger. And here's Egypt's President Mubarak, played by Armisen. The people are upset because the internet is down, and Time Warner didn't come in the window they promised and he had to go to a meeting and then they came, so the internet is still down. "I'm hiring a new cabinet made up of fired members of the old cabinet." Kucinich's law suit. Charlie Sheen. No cheerleaders at the Super Bowl. Hotel waitresses. Elderly drivers. And commenting on Oscar nominations- Tyler Perry presents Tyler Perry, as portrayed by Kenan. He got no nominations, but he has a ton of money. Suicide survival. Lady Gaga fragrance. Jersey Shore. And that's all. Ehh. C+.
Just a warning here- Internet is acting up so posts may not be immediate.
Sketch 7- Another Turner Classic Movies sketch. They clearly like these. Today we look at 1970's Blacksploitation Horror Films. Here's a look at the Bride of Blackenstein. Pharaoh is the doctor, Kenan is the monster, Eisenberg is Igor, and Minaj is the bride of Blackenstein. This isn't very good. C-.
Sketch 8- Midbreak- We're looking at some sort of home set, decorated for a party. Samberg is MTV's head of programming. Ahh, we're going Skins. The set is falling around him, but he's not breaking. Eisenberg and Elliot are cast members in Skins, now featuring bad product placement. Also Killam and Pedrad. Just nonstop bad product placement. This is actually amusing as each product is more ridiculous than the last. And Elliot comes through by saying that the condoms Eisenberg just pitched "sound great for young vaginas." B.
Sketch 9- Spa Talk with Talya Wanters (sp?) played by Wiig. Elliot and Kenan are a fighting couple, and Talya is trying to help them. This is horrendous. Just pure garbage at this point. Here is the Vinetti family, played by Moynihan, Bayer (first time tonight?), and Eisenberg. Like the couple before, this family is fighting. And Talya is doing random stuff to them. This is pathetic. F.
Music 2- Minaj performed "Moment 4 Life," and inexplicably did it in her "Bride of Blackenstein wig.
Sketch 10- An advertisement for El Shrinko, for people who's penises are too big. Bad. D.
Overall- Just a horrible episode. It started semi-promising, and just went way downhill from there. Pathetic. Boo. Hiss. D-.
Friday, January 28, 2011
The December/January Network, Primetime, Half-Hour, Live-Action Sitcom Rankings
Here are the December/January sitcom rankings. Because shows typically go on break over the holidays, the rankings are combined for the two months. This goes through all episodes that have aired to date. Ratings and viewership numbers are considered, but it is mostly opinion based.
| Rank | Prev. | Show | Network | % of Next Seas. |
| 1 | 3 | Community | NBC | 75 |
| 2 | 1 | The Big Bang Theory | CBS | 100 |
| 3 | 2 | Modern Family | ABC | 100 |
| 4 | 4 | How I Met Your Mot… | CBS | 95 |
| 5 | 6 | 30 Rock | NBC | 100 |
| 6 | 5 | Two and a Half Men | CBS | 100 |
| 7 | 9 | Parks and Recreation | NBC | 85 |
| 8 | 10 | The Office | NBC | 95 |
| 9 | 8 | Cougar Town | ABC | 100 |
| 10 | 13 | Mike and Molly | CBS | 75 |
| 11 | 12 | Raising Hope | Fox | 100 |
| 12 | 7 | Better with You | ABC | 66 |
| 13 | N/R | Perfect Couples | NBC | 33 |
| 14 | 11 | Outsourced | NBC | 15 |
| 15 | 15 | The Middle | ABC | 25 |
| 16 | 16 | Rules of Engagement | CBS | 20 |
| 17 | 14 | Running Wilde | Fox | 0 |
| 18 | 17 | $#*! My Dad Says | CBS | 20 |
Some Quick Thoughts:
-We have our first cancellation of the year, with Running Wilde. It will continue to be ranked for the year, and will be removed after the May rankings with the release of the overall rankings.
-We also are 3 episodes in to Perfect Couples, with an awkward debut in December with the 3rd episode, and the first two airing the past couple weeks. It remains to be seen if this show can really develop into anything other than "Friends with Olivia Munn"
-Parks and Rec is back! It jumped back to 7 today, but I would assume it will have a major leap into the top 5 next month after more than 2 episodes have aired.
-Community got the 1 spot despite what I believe was the worst episode of the series last night, because Modern Family and Big Bang Theory have both struggled, while HIMYM has to find it's footing after going in a dramatic direction the past two weeks.
-The sitcom clip that will be the most remembered from this two month span:
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Academy Award Nomination Predictions
Bright and early tomorrow morning, the Academy Award nominations are released. Here are my predictions for the 5 nominees each for best actor and actress, and the 10 nominees for best picture. They are listed in Bergeronian order:
Best Actor:
Paul Giamatti, Barney's Version
Colin Firth, The King's Speech
Leonardo DiCaprio, Inception
Mark Wahlberg, The Fighter
James Franco, 127 Hours
Best Actress:
Natalie Portman, Black Swan
Annette Bening, The Kids are Alright
Julianne Moore, The Kids are Alright
Halle Berry, Frankie and Alice
Hailee Steinfeld, True Grit
Best Picture:
The King's Speech
Black Swan
The Kids are Alright
True Grit
Social Network
The Fighter
Inception
Toy Story 3
Winter's Bone
127 Hours
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Conference Championship NFL Picks
Last week I went 2-2, getting both NFC games right and both AFC games wrong. That put me at 5-3 for the playoffs. Today:
Jets over STEELERS
Packers over BEARS
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Back to Pawnee
Parks and Recreation returns to NBC tonight after an 8 month hiatus. The show's brief first season was mediocre, but the second season launched it into one of the top comedies on TV. And now, the cast welcomes you back:
And from tonight's episode:
A Note on Sitcom Rankings
I have decided to combine December/January rankings for sitcoms since most shows will only have 4 or so episodes over that span, a typical month load. Rankings will be up in 2 weeks!
Sunday, January 16, 2011
My Golden Globes Predictions
Tonight, Ricky Gervais hosts the 68th annual Golden Globe Awards. The Golden Globes honor both television and film, and are sometimes seen as a predictor for the Oscars. Unlike the Emmys, the Globes look at television over the calender year, rather than the television September-August season.
Here are my predictions for the 16 big awards:
Best Motion Picture (Drama):
The Nominees:
Black Swan
The Fighter
Inception
The King's Speech
The Social Network
My pick:
I only saw two, but I thought The King's Speech was phenominal.
What will win:
Black Swan
Best Motion Picture (Comedy/Musical):
The Nominees:
Alice in Wonderland
Burlesque
The Kids are Alright
Red
The Tourist
My pick:
Again, only saw 2, but The Kids are Alright was the only one considered a top tier movie.
What will win:
The Kids are Alright
Actor in a Motion Picture (Drama):
The Nominees:
Jesse Eisenberg (The Social Network)
Colin Firth (The King's Speech)
James Franco (127 Hours)
Ryan Gosling (Blue Valentine)
Mark Wahlberg (The Fighter)
My pick:
I'd go with Eisenberg, who was phenominal as Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg.
Who will win:
Wahlberg
Actress in a Motion Picture (Drama):
The Nominees:
Halle Berry (Frankie and Alice)
Nicole Kidman (Rabbit Hole)
Jennifer Lawrence (Winter's Bone)
Natalie Portman (Black Swan)
Michelle Williams (Blue Valentine)
Michelle Williams (Blue Valentine)
My pick:
Portman
Who will win:
Portman
Actor in a Motion Picture (Comedy/Musical):
The Nominees:
Johnny Depp (Alice in Wonderland)
Johnny Depp (The Tourist)
Paul Giamatti (Barney's Vision)
Jake Gyllenhaal (Love and Other Drugs)
Kevin Spacey (Casino Jack)
My pick:
While the odds dictate Depp has the best chance, I'm going Gyllenhaal.
Who will win:
Depp (Alice)
Actress in a Motion Picture (Comedy/Musical):
The Nominees:
Annette Benning (The Kids are Alright)
Anne Hathaway (Love and Other Drugs)
Angelina Jolie (The Tourist)
Julianne Moore (The Kids are Alright)
Emma Stone (Easy A)
My pick:
Really? Emma Stone? That was the best we could do? I'm going Moore.
Who will win:
Hathaway
Best Supporting Actor:
The Nominees:
Christian Bale (The Fighter)
Michael Douglas (Wall Street 2)
Andrew Garfield (The Social Network)
Jeremy Renner (The Town)
Geoffrey Rush (The King's Speech)
My pick:
Douglas is there for the sympathy vote, but I'm going with Rush.
Who will win:
Bale
Best Supporting Actress:
The Nominees:
Amy Adams (The Fighter)
Helena Bonham Carter (The King's Speech)
Mila Kunis (Black Swan)
Melissa Leo (The Fighter)
Jacki Weaver (Animal Kingdom)
My pick:
Carter showed unbelievable depth this year by being fantastic in 3 completely different movies- The King's Speech, Alice, and Harry Potter 6. I give her the nod.
Who will win:
Adams
Best Series (Drama):
The Nominees:
Boardwalk Empire
Dexter
The Good Wife
Mad Men
The Walking Dead
My pick:
Boardwalk Empire
What will win:
Boardwalk Empire
Best Series (Comedy/Musical):
The Nominees:
30 Rock
Big Bang Theory
The Big C
Glee
Modern Family
Nurse Jackie
My pick:
Ah, 6 nominations. Globes echo Emmy's with Modern Family.
Who will win:
Modern Family
Actor (Drama):
The Nominees:
Steve Buscemi (Boardwalk Empire)
Bryan Cranston (Breaking Bad)
Bryan Cranston (Breaking Bad)
Michael C. Hall (Dexter)
Jon Hamm (Mad Men)
Hugh Laurie (House)
My pick:
Laurie is just there so the networks have something. Cranston is winning, as always.
Who will win:
Cranston
Actress (Drama):
The Nominees:
Julianna Margulies (The Good Wife)
Elisabeth Moss (Mad Men)
Piper Perabo (Covert Affairs)
Katy Segal (Sons of Anarchy)
Kyra Sedgwick (The Closer)
My pick:
Margulies
Who will win:
Sedgwick
Actor (Comedy/Musical):
The Nominees:
Alec Baldwin (30 Rock)
Steve Carell (The Office)
Thomas Jane (Hung)
Matthew Morrison (Glee)
Jim Parsons (Big Bang Theory)
My pick:
Parsons. It's not close.
Who will win:
Parsons
Actress (Comedy/Musical):
The Nominees:
Toni Collette (United States of Tara)
Edie Falco (Nurse Jackie)
Tina Fey (30 Rock)
Laura Linney (The Big C)
Lea Michele (Glee)
My pick:
Very close race, but I'd go Michele.
Who will win:
Falco
Supporting Actor:
The Nominees:
Scott Caan (Hawaii Five-0)
Chris Colfer (Glee)
Chris Noth (The Good Wife)
Eric Stonestreet (Modern Family)
David Strathairn (Temple Grandin)
My pick:
They throw the miniseries/made-for-tv movies in here just to mess with predictions, and if I learned one thing from the Emmys, it is to never bet against Temple Grandin. Still, I'm going Colfer.
Supporting Actress:
The Nominees:
Hope Davis (The Special Relationship)
Jane Lynch (Glee)
Kelly Macdonald (Boardwalk Empire)
Julia Stiles (Dexter)
Sofia Vergara (Modern Family)
My pick:
Lynch
Who will win:
Lynch
And that's that. We'll see tonight who wins, and how I do.
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