Week 8 NFL Picks

Week 8 picks below. I went 7-7 last week, putting me at 55-48 for the season. Again, picks are for the win, not against the spread.

Here we go (home team in CAPS):

Dolphins over BENGALS

Jaguars over COWBOYS

Redskins over LIONS
CHIEFS over Bills

RAMS over Panthers

JETS over Packers

Broncos over 49ers (SF is "home team" but game is in London)

Titans over CHARGERS

CARDINALS over Buccaneers

PATRIOTS over Vikings

Seahawks over RAIDERS

SAINTS over Steelers

COLTS over Texans

Some Random Thoughts About SNL 36x5 Hamm/Rihanna

Tonight Jon Hamm hosts SNL for the third time in three seasons. He hosted on the night Amy Poehler gave birth in season 34, which featured musical guest Coldplay, the final Two A-Holes sketch (although both Sudeikis and Wiig are still on the show) which featured Mad Men co-stars Elisabeth Moss and John Slattery, and Hamm as JFK in one of the better sketches of the past few years, The Barack Obama Variety Half-Hour. He returned last season with musical guest Michael Buble, which featured one of the best sketches of last season, Hamm & Buble.

SNL and Mad Men also have a relatively odd (unique?) relationship. Along with Hamm hosting for the third time, January Jones hosted last season, and as mentioned Moss and Slattery appeared the first time Hamm hosted. Hamm has also had a recurring role on Tina Fey's 30 Rock. Jones dates SNL cast member Jason Sudeikis, and Moss was married to SNL's Fred Armisen for a year before filing for divorce earlier this year. If you want to stretch it even further, former 30 Rock writer Donald Glover costars with Mad Men's Alison Brie on Community.

Rihanna is the musical guest for the second time. She appeared for last season's Blake Lively episode, and was in a digital short.

My baseless predictions:

-Two cameos. January Jones and someone else.
-Rihanna is in at least 1 sketch.
-Cold open will be something political, with the election coming up this Tuesday. I doubt it will involve today's Rally to Restore Sanity, but that could be funny.

Back at 11:30!

Sketch 1- And we're off, with a Biden sketch. Sudeikis does Biden significantly better than Armisen does Obama. People are complaining a lot, but it is a lot better than being one of the Chilean miners. And that was pretty much it, for 3 straight minutes. Not terrible, but not special. B+.

Monologue- It's his second time hosting the Halloween show, less nervous this time. Because of Mad Men advertising role he now thinks of slogans for every product he thinks of. Random cast members (Hader, Pedrad, Thompson, Samberg to be precise) name products. Also he thinks Hader is a woman. B-.

Sketch 2- Digital short time. Rihanna is talking to a nervous Samberg, and it is Shy Ronnie part 2, the sequel to Rihanna's first digital short. This time they're robbing a bank. Hard to explain but pretty funny, especially as a sequel. A-.

Commercial Break- It looks like a Vincent Price's Halloween Special. BTW I called this when it was announced that Hamm was hosting the Halloween ep before the season. Forgot about it until now.

Sketch 3- And it is Vincent Price's 1960 Halloween Special. And it is pretty much like every other Vincent Price holiday sketch. Wiig as Judy Garland. Hamm as JFK and Pedrad as his date/prostitute, Candy. And Armisen reprises his role as Liberace. D-.

Sketch 4- Parody ad for Back to the Future 25th Anniversary DVD. Screen tests for Al Pacino (Hader), Eddie Murphy (Pharoah), Jennifer Tilly (Wiig)...Hamm can do a fantastic Robin Williams impression. Tremendous. A.

NEXT NEW EP: NOVEMBER 13: SCARLETT JOHANSSON/ARCADE FIRE

Sketch 5- Casting for something. Sudeikis is doing the casting, Wiig auditioning. Wiig lists things she will and won't do. It goes on and on. Sudeikis tells her she isn't getting the part. Hamm as her husband walks in to see how it is going, when she tells him she didn't get it, he goes off on a rant. Next auditioner is Hamm in a cape. Sudeikis jumps out window. Not even mediocre. D-.

Sketch 6- More Back to the Future screen tests. Nic Cage (Samberg), Alan Alda (dead on Hader), Prince (Armisen), Bill Cosby (Thompson, again dead on), keeps going...same sketch, same grade. A.

Music 1- Rihanna is singing What's My Name which is apparantly her new single. Not bad, it sounds like most other Rihanna songs. B.

Weekend Update- Best line "Well Jon Cryer, I think you can go ahead and book that vacation." Our first guest is Hader's always funny Carville. Makes some moderately decent political points. Solid Chilean miner joke. And Garth and Katt are back with some yet-to-be-written Halloween songs. Armisen is losing it very quickly. Decent. Still expect more from WU. B-.

Sketch 7- A talk show called "I Didn't Ask For This" hosted by Moynihan. This is terrible. The only F I have given so far is for a sketch in French, but this looks like it has potential. And it is. Terrible. F.

Sketch 8- Highway Cops, an old NBC show. Sudeikis and Hamm are cops, Thompson is the chief. This isn't moderately amusing. This is actually worse than the last sketch, but that got the lowest grade possible, so here it is again. F.

Two terrible sketches in a row on Halloween and I'm out. I'll sum up the last couple tomorrow when they are on Hulu.

The October Network, Primetime, Half-Hour, Live-Action Sitcom Rankings

Here are the October sitcom rankings. This goes through all episodes that have aired to date. Ratings and viewership numbers are considered, but it is mostly opinion based. Parks and Recreation continues to be based solely on the first two seasons.

Rank	Prev.	Show	Network	% of Next Seas.
1	5	30 Rock	NBC	95
2	1	Modern Family	ABC	100
3	8	Better with You	ABC	85
4	2	The Big Bang Theory	CBS	100
5	4	Two and a Half Men	CBS	100
6	7	How I Met Your Mot...	CBS	90
7	3	Community	NBC	40
8	6	The Office	NBC	95
9	10	Cougar Town	ABC	70
10	9	Parks and Recreation	NBC	75
11	11	Running Wilde	Fox	33
12	13	Outsourced	NBC	15
13	16	Raising Hope	Fox	33
14	12	The Middle	ABC	20
15	14	Rules of Engagement	CBS	15
16	15	Mike and Molly	CBS	40
17	17	$#*! My Dad Says	CBS	15

Some quick thoughts:

-30 Rock has been as good this season as it has ever been during the entire, 3 time Emmy winning series. While many critics disliked the live episode because it did not fit well with the typical series dynamic, I enjoyed seeing them doing something different. 30 Rock almost certainly won't stay in the top spot, with moderate viewing numbers being spiked by the live episode, the numbers will catch up with it. I am, however, much more optimistic than I was before.

-The other reason 30 Rock moved to number one is because Modern Family has been utterly disappointing. It hasn't been bad. But it hasn't been funny. And unlike a show like How I Met Your Mother or The Office which has you so invested in the characters that it can afford to not be funny once in a while, Modern Family built itself on the laughs. I don't care about Phil and Claire like I care about Marshall and Lily or Jim and Pam or even Leonard and Penny on Big Bang Theory. And so, when the show isn't all that funny, it isn't all that good.

-Better with You has been the most consistent and most impressive of the new shows. Frankly it hasn't been close. I actually think if you only looked at this season with none of the sitcoms having any prior history, Better with You has been the best of any sitcom. Of the other newbies- Running Wilde has been inconsistent, funny when good, but nobody is watching, and I would not be surprised if November is its final month. Outsourced and Raising Hope have both grown on me this month. Any controversy over Outsourced is long gone, and it seems to be developing into the funny series I thought it could be. Raising Hope has taken advantage of its Gleed-in (see what I did there?), has gotten continuously more funny, has stopped overusing Clorice Leachman, and has gotten picked up for a full season. Unfortunately so has Mike and Molly, which has gotten tremendous numbers, thanks to the 2.5 Men lead-in, but has made the biggest noise as a source of controversy this week thanks to a derogatory Marie Claire article. There is not much to say about $#*! My Dad Says, it is not very good, it is losing viewers by the week, and CBS still gave it a full season. I still don't think there will be a season two.

-Community is almost certainly on its last leg, unless it gets a significant uptake in viewership or NBC gives it the Arrested Development treatment. But if it is dying, it is going out with a blaze of glory. The back-to-back-to-back Apollo 13/Abed as God/Zombie Halloween episodes were over-the-top, but also highlighted things that this series can do that no other sitcom on tv can do (aside from the animated ones).

-Parks and Recreation will almost certainly shoot back up this list as soon as it starts airing again. NBC is showing The Apprentice instead of it. Seriously.

The September Network, Primetime, Half-Hour, Live-Action Sitcom Rankings (finally)

These are the (much delayed) rankings from September. They only reflect episodes that aired through September, which was 2 episodes for each series. Ratings and viewership numbers are considered, but it is mostly opinion based. Parks and Recreation continues to be based solely on the first two seasons.

Rank	Prev.	Show	Network	% of Next Seas.
1	1	Modern Family	ABC	100
2	2	The Big Bang Theory	CBS	100
3	4	Community	NBC	75
4	5	Two and a Half Men	CBS	100
5	6	30 Rock	NBC	90
6	3	The Office	NBC	90
7	8	How I Met Your Mot...	CBS	75
8	NR	Better with You	ABC	75
9	7	Parks and Recreation	NBC	75
10	9	Cougar Town	ABC	66
11	NR	Running Wilde	Fox	50
12	10	The Middle	ABC	20
13	NR	Outsourced	NBC	10
14	11	Rules of Engagement	CBS	15
15	NR	Mike and Molly	CBS	25
16	NR	Raising Hope	Fox	15
17	NR	$#*! My Dad Says	CBS	10

For more information, check out the ranking page here.

World Series Prediction

I did well in my Championship Series predictions. Really well in the ALCS- I got the winner, the number of games, and the MVP. I got the winner of the NLCS too, but missed on the games (I guessed 7) and MVP (really, Cody Ross). Anyway, here's the world series pick:

Rangers in 6
MVP: Cliff Lee

And Lee will resign with Rangers and look to defend the World Series title.

We'll see.*

*Unless you're a cablevision subscriber. If that's the case, enjoy MLB GameDay.

The Rocky Horror Picture Post

Rocky Horror continuously pops up in my life.

In my first Thespian Revue we did Time Warp, where I had my first solo line in a Revue.

In my second Thespian Revue we did Dammit Janet* and the senior number was Floor Show.

*It was actually Darnit Janet thanks to some special censorship.

In college I joined a theater company named for a lyric in Rocky Horror "Forbidden Planet." The company did RHPS every year.

So I know my Rocky Horror. I went to a midnight showing in Manhattan. I saw it once in Long Island (with co-thespians Graig Churchill and Elisa Weiss in it) and 10 times at GW (twice in 06, thrice in 07, twice in 08, once in 09). I own the 25th Anniversary DVD, and have watched it with the prerecorded call lines. I even tried watching Shock Treatment, the sequel once. But it was more Grease 2 than Austin Powers 2 (the 2nd most successful sequel of all time compared to the original, trailing only Terminator 2), so I stopped watching.

I know calllines. I know the classic ones, I know the ones people created at GW, I know the nondirty ones they did at the Long Island performance, I know the website that lists them all. I've delivered some good ones. I've made a Frank almost break character. I've delivered one so obscure that only 2 rows of the audience got it, but those who got it loved it.

I like Rocky Horror. It means a lot to me. I've thought about not being able to see it at GW this year, and I've decided I'll watch the dvd this weekend.

All that said, I think Glee doing a Rocky Horror episode will either be the greatest episode of all time, or the worst. Last year they only did 2 themed shows, and the Gaga show only had 2 Gaga songs. This year, this will already be #2, and at least one more is locked in for post-SuperBowl. And RHPS is not that widespread among the Glee fanbase. It could be great, but I don't think it will.

Week 7 NFL Picks

Week 7 picks below. I went 8-6 last week, putting me at 48-41 for the season. Again, picks are for the win, not against the spread.

Here we go (home team in CAPS):

FALCONS over Bengals

BEARS over Redskins

Eagles over TITANS

CHIEFS over Jaguars

DOLPHINS over Steelers

SAINTS over Browns

Rams over BUCCANEERS

PANTHERS over 49ers

RAVENS over Bills

SEAHAWKS over Cardinals

BRONCOS over Raiders

Patriots over CHARGERS

PACKERS over Vikings

COWBOYS over Giants

Some Random Thoughts About SNL 36x4 Stone/Kings of Leon

Tonight Emma Stone hosts SNL for her first time. She becomes the 3rd SNL host younger than me, and the first to not have the first name Taylor (Swift and Lautner both hosted last season, while dating eachother). Stone did tell Access Hollywood in 2008 that her dream was to be on SNL, so good for her. She has actually had a bit of an odd stretch, where her first 3 big movies (Superbad, The Rocker, and House Bunny) were all promoted on SNL, but by Jonah Hill, Rainn Wilson, and Anna Faris respectively.

Kings of Leon is our musical guest, and rumor has it they could use somebody. This is their second time, first appearing in Season 34, Episode 2, hosted by James Franco.

My predictions for tonight:

-1 cameo in Weekend Update. No idea who. Just a gut feeling.
-Some horrible recurring sketch is going to pop up this week. I can't figure out which. I assume MacGruber is dead with Will Forte's departure, so I'm going to say the Lawerence Welk Show. Have we had one of those yet?

I'll be back at 11:30!

Sketch 1- An Obama sketch, a rally for Sen. Reid. Apparantly Mr. Smulders is Harry Reid. Unless that is the other new guy. I really don't know. Armisen's Obama continues to get worse, every week. Reid stressing disagreements with Obama to distance himself. Oddly in background of extras, black newbie and female newbie are standing in the middle. Not terrible, but not all that funny. And unfortunately, relatively realistic. C.

Monologue- Why is Emma Stone dressed like she's 35 and going on a job interview? She's a hot 22 year old... She's going off on how all her films involve her getting with nerds. Now Moynihan and Mr. Smulders as Jonah Hill and Michael Cera, who costarred with Stone in Superbad. Actually funny. The ending saved it A-.

Sketch 2- A parody ad to make your fat baby fit. Baby Spanx. Relatively funny. A-.

Sketch 3- A Dream Home Makeover with Wiig knocking on someone's door to tell them they won. Stone is the woman. Wiig is excited. Stone couldn't care less. This would be fine at 12:45. At 11:40? Oh boy. Ok black newbie jumping up and down pixelated was kind of funny. Not a scene saver. But a neighbor comes with hard boiled eggs and she gets excited. Alright. Whatever. Then Wiig gets knocked down by a plank of wood. C+.

Sketch 4- Local News. Nasim Pedrad is anchor, "Dangerous Teenage Fad: Souping" Hader reporting. Kids drinking expired canned soup. Stone an interviewed teen who says its not a real thing. Wiig an interviewed mother. "For more information about souping, go to our website and no others." Now trampolining- boy sits on roof and receives oral sex from a girl on a trampoline. If she does it 10 times she gets a silliband. Now skyping- 2 teens jump out of plane attached by genitals. Are teens taking turns hiding Osama bin Laden to get lip gloss. Oh my. D-.

Sketch 5- Digital short. Emma Stone singing about breaking her arm by slipping and falling. Then she does it again. "Sign my cast, sign my cast." Now a broken leg. Now she completely deconstructs. Now the grape jelly she slipped in sings. That may have been the next hit digital short. A.

NEXT WEEK: JON HAMM AND RIHANNA!

Commercial Break: Looks like a View sketch. Not a huge surprise after the O'Reilly incident this week.

Sketch 6- The View- Did Whoopi get new glasses? So what, who cares? Our guest today- Lindsay Lohan, on loan from the Betty Ford clinic, played by Stone. Does Elisabeth actually repeat syllables on the show? That was fine. Nothing special. B.

Sketch 7- Brett Favre ad for Wrangler Open Fly Jeans. Brilliant. And Sudeikis is pulling off Favre really well. A+.

Music 1- I'm not going to pretend I know anything by Kings of Leon besides "Use Somebody." This isn't that, it is presumably something newer. Fine. I'm sure their fans enjoyed it. According to Wikipedia it was called "Radioactive." B.

Weekend Update- A more you know spoof on the Clarence Thomas story. And Kenan as Jimmy McMillan aka Rent Is 2 Damn High. I was at that debate, this is amazing. This is dead on. I don't know who is doing this "I love it" thing. Seriously who is this? He's not in the cast, is he? He's not famous, is he? Either way, moderately funny. And damn, its city correspondent, Stefan, the flamboyant guy. I was hoping for the travel correspondent, Judy Grimes. Hader completely losing it. Still, the rent is 2 damn high! A.

We literally have this same American Idiot ad every single week during SNL.

Sketch 8- A French tv show. In French. WTF? Now there's some sort of dance off. Now they're sculpting. I have no clue wat is going on. Now a man walked by with a cane and they all stopped. And then he passed by and they started again. Balloons fell. I have no idea what happened to the last few minutes of my life. F.

Sketch 9- "My Brother Knows Everything" 11 year old Morgan (Pedrad) tells us all the stuff her 15 year old brother Erik (Samberg) tells her. And her best friend Meredith (Stone) is cohosting. Freaking means Grinding. Grinding is when you freak. You have to freak 7 times to have a baby. Now "Let's Bro to the Movies" where they review Jackass 3D based on what they overheard Erik say. Erik'an Idols: Top 5 countdown of cutest guys on posters on Erik's wall. #1- Nicolas Cage in Ghost Rider. Not terrible. A few chuckles. B-.

Sketch 10- Ad for Sex Ed, Ed Vincent a sex instructor. Blah. C.

There's some sort of SNL Women special next Monday, with women throughout SNL history. Could be interesting, but probably won't liveblog it, pending HIMYM rerun.

Music 2- Oops, Stone's mic doesn't work. Fine performance, again. B.

Sketch 11- Kenan doing some sort of Halloween store promo. For partionally destroyed Halloween costumes. Random. Not great, not terrible. B-.

Overall, not a strong performance. Final Grade: C.

I Was On a Break

Law school has been busy, as it will be for the next week, but I've neglected the blog for too long:

September Sitcom Rankings: I underestimated how difficult it is to find tv ratings and viewership numbers, so from here on out the monthly rankings will be opinion based only, and the statistics will be done at the end of the year (and maybe midseason). The September rankings have been available on the Monthly Rankings page for a few weeks, but I will make a post later tonight, and the October rankings will be out promptly at the end of next week.

SNL 36x3 Jane Lynch/Bruno Mars: I was never able to write a retro-blog, but disappointed by no cameos, loved Glee/Gilly, enjoyed Lynch's monologue, thought the Sunday Night Football theme parody was brilliant, and enjoyed the Christine O'Donnell ad. Nothing else was worth writing about.

SNL 36x4 Emma Stone/Kings of Leon: The liveblog will be back tonight, so stay tuned!

Later this week, there will likely be a Mets post, a political post, and of course the weekly football picks tomorrow morning.

Week 6 NFL Picks

Week 6 picks below. I went a dreadful 6-8 last week, putting me at 40-35 for the season. I also got knocked out of the suicide pool. Again, picks are for the win, not against the spread.

Here we go (home team in CAPS):

 

BEARS over Seahawks

PACKERS over Dolphins

Chargers over RAMS

Ravens over PATRIOTS

GIANTS over Lions

Falcons over EAGLES

STEELERS over Browns

Saints over BUCCANEERS

TEXANS over Chiefs

49ERS over Raiders

Jets over BRONCOS

Cowboys over VIKINGS

Colts over REDSKINS

Titans over JAGUARS