Farewell to 30 Rock: Top 100 Episodes and Characters

An admission- I didn't watch 30 Rock when it started. In fact, I was a Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip partisan. For Chanukah 2008, my parents got me the DVDs of the first 2 seasons of 30 Rock. I watched them all within a week (second admission- I watch both seasons again in their completion this past Friday through Sunday). While it has certainly had its ups and downs, I strongly believe that within five years it will be obvious that it will be on the Mount Rushmore of the recent-to-current single camera era sitcoms (along with The Office, Arrested Development, and either Community or Parks and Rec or something we haven't seen yet), and not uncommon to rank it on an all time comedy Mount Rushmore (right now I'd probably say I Love Lucy, Cheers, Seinfeld, and The Cosby Show, but I have admittedly not seen enough All in the Family or M*A*S*H or most pre-1980s shows). But this week, 30 Rock ends it's seven year run, filled with awards, cameos, classic episodes, live shows, insane character names, cutaways, and low ratings. To celebrate, here are my top 100 episodes and top 100 characters. Quite honestly, there is very little difference between what ranks 1 and what ranks 25. If I started over without looking at this list, it's very possible the two lists would bear no resemblance to each other. I did not look at any other 30 Rock rankings lists, although I did consult AVClub's and TVWoP's grades for the episodes. I made liberal use of Wikipedia and IMDB, and any misspellings are likely their fault. Feel free to add your lists or other 30 Rock memories in the comments.

2013 Golden Globe Predictions

The Golden Globes are this Sunday. There are 25 categories in film and television, and with apologies to Original Score, Original Song, Animated Film, and Foreign Language Film, here are my picks for 21 of them!

Film

Motion Picture- Drama

Argo

Django Unchained

Life of Pi

Lincoln

Zero Dark Thirty

Motion Picture- Musical or Comedy

The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel

Les Miserables

Moonrise Kingdom

Salmon Fishing in the Yemen

Silver Linings Playbook

Actor in a Motion Picture- Drama

Daniel Day-Lewis, Lincoln

Richard Gere, Arbitrage

John Hawkes, The Sessions

Joaquin Phoenix, The Master

Denzel Washington, Flight

Actress in a Motion Picture- Drama

Jessica Chastain, Zero Dark Thirty

Marion Cotillard, Rust and Bone

Helen Mirren, Hitchcock

Naomi Watts, The Impossible

Rachel Weisz, The Deep Blue Sea

Actor in a Motion Picture- Musical or Comedy

Jack Black, Bernie

Bradley Cooper, Silver Linings Playbooks

Hugh Jackman, Les Miserables

Ewan McGregor, Salmon Fishing in the Yemen

Bill Murray, Hyde Park on Hudson

Actress in a Motion Picture- Musical or Comedy

Emily Blunt, Salmon Fishing in the Yemen

Judi Dench, The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel

Jennifer Lawrence, Silver Linings Playbook

Maggie Smith, Quartet

Meryl Streep, Hope Springs

Supporting Actor in a Motion Picture

Alan Arkin, Argo

Leonardo DiCaprio, Django Unchained

Phillip Seymour Hoffman, The Master

Tommy Lee Jones, Lincoln

Christoph Waltz, Django Unchained

Supporting Actress in a Motion Picture

Amy Adams, The Master

Sally Field, Lincoln

Anne Hathaway, Les Miserables

Helen Hunt, The Sessions

Nicole Kidman, The Paperboy

Director of a Motion Picture

Ben Affleck, Argo

Kathryn Bigelow, Zero Dark Thirty

Ang Lee, Life of Pi

Steven Spielberg, Lincoln

Quentin Tarantino, Django Unchained

Screenplay of a Motion Picture

Chris Terrio, Argo

Quentin Tarantino, Django Unchained

Tony Kushner, Lincoln

David O. Russell, Silver Linings Playbook

Mark Boal, Zero Dark Thirty

Television

Series- Drama

Breaking Bad

Boardwalk Empire

Downton Abbey

Homeland

The Newsroom

Series- Musical or Comedy

The Big Bang Theory

Episodes

Girls

Modern Family

Smash

Actor in a Television Series- Drama

Steve Buscemi, Boardwalk Empire

Bryan Cranston, Breaking Bad

Jeff Daniels, The Newsroom

Jon Hamm, Mad Men

Damian Lewis, Homeland

Actress in a Television Series- Drama

Connie Britton, Nashville

Glenn Close, Damages

Claire Danes, Homeland

Michelle Dockery, Downton Abbey

Julianna Margulies, The Good Wife

Actor in a Television Series- Musical or Comedy

Alec Baldwin, 30 Rock

Don Cheadle, House of Lies

Louis C.K., Louie

Matt LeBlanc, Episodes

Jim Parsons, The Big Bang Theory

Actress in a Television Series- Musical or Comedy

Zooey Deschanel, New Girl

Lena Dunham, Girls

Tina Fey, 30 Rock

Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Veep

Amy Poehler, Parks and Recreation

Actor in a Miniseries or Television Film

Kevin Costner, Hatfields & McCoys

Benedict Cumberbatch, Sherlock

Woody Harrelson, Game Change

Toby Jones, The Girl

Clive Owen, Hemingway & Gellhorn

Actress in a Miniseries or Television Film

Nicole Kidman, Hemingway & Gellhorn

Jessica Lange, American Horror Story: Asylum

Sienna Miller, The Girl

Julianne Moore, Game Change

Sigourney Weaver, Political Animals

Supporting Actor in a Series, Miniseries, or Television Film

Max Greenfield, New Girl

Ed Harris, Game Change

Danny Huston, Magic City

Mandy Patinkin, Homeland

Eric Stonestreet, Modern Family

Supporting Actress in a Series, Miniseries, or Television Film

Hayden Panettiere, Nashville

Archie Panjabi, The Good Wife

Sarah Paulson, Game Change

Maggie Smith, Downton Abbey

Sofia Vergara, Modern Family

Miniseries or Television Film

Game Change

The Girl

The Hour

Hatfields & McCoys

Political Animals

Some Thoughts on Mike Piazza and the Hall of Fame

I wrote last month that 1998, the season I became a baseball fan, was also the year the team I root for traded for Mike Piazza. 

Today the Hall of Fame voting results were announced, and Mike Piazza, along with every other player, did not receive the requisite 75%. Here are some thoughts:

-Mike Piazza is my favorite player ever, in any sport. He is the greatest player I have ever rooted for. I've been weirdly lucky with this- despite never having a championship during my lifetime among the 4 teams I root for, I've gotten a Hall of Fame center in Patrick Ewing, a Hall of Fame running back in Curtis Martin, and the greatest hitting catcher of all time.

-Let me say that again. The greatest hitting catcher of all time. Not "one of the top five hitting catchers of all time." Not "perhaps the best hitting catcher of all time." The singular, unquestionable, greatest hitting catcher of all time. Number 1.

-And he's not going to the Hall of Fame on the first ballot. Look, I knew this was coming before today. Every survey of voters, every poll, it showed Piazza getting around 60%. He wound up with 57.8%. This was 4th most on the ballot, and 2nd most for players on their first ballot. This is actually not a bad number for a first ballot. As Joe Posnanski showed this week, every player who had 50% or more on their first ballot has eventually been elected. And Yogi Berra and Gary Carter, two other great New York catchers, also missed on their first ballot. Mike Piazza will be in the Hall of Fame, perhaps even in 2014 (though with the players being added on that ballot, it's not a lock). But he is so clearly a Hall of Famer, not letting him in on the first ballot is absurd.

-This isn't a small Hall vs. big Hall question. Even in the smallest of Hall of Fames, Mike Piazza is a Hall of Famer.

-It's not a steroid issue either. Barry Bonds and Roger Clemens have faced legal prosecution for their lying about steroid use. Both were named in the Mitchell Report. Mark McGwire admitted to using steroids. Rafael Palmeiro failed an MLB steroid test. Mike Piazza did none of those things. When the Mitchell Report was released online, the first thing I did after opening it was hit CTRL+F and search for "Piazza." There were 0 hits. There has never been any legitimate steroid claims about Mike Piazza.

-You know what claims there were against Mike Piazza? Homosexuality. This is an actual story. In May of 2002, Mike Piazza had to hold a press conference to deny random rumors that he was gay. But there were never rumors that he used steroids.

-The extent of the steroid claims against Piazza are an off-the-record conversation with an unnamed source, and back acne. Seriously. Back acne.

-I laid out the statistical argument for Piazza on that last post. There numerous. There is no way that somebody who knows baseball can look at his numbers and think "I don't know. Not really Hall of Fame to me." It's not possible. It's a joke.

-Perhaps there are a number of writers, like ESPN's Adam Rubin and Fox's Ken Rosenthal, will switch their vote just because they don't vote for players on the first ballot. This is idiotic. A player is either a hall of famer or not a hall of famer, on the 1st or 2nd or 15th ballot. The only reason to switch a vote is if you literally run out of space on your ballot. That's something that might happen over the next few years, but it was not the case for either Rubin or Rosenthal this year.

-The Mets have yet to retire Piazza's 31 or put him in the team Hall of Fame. The rumors have always been that they were waiting for his Cooperstown induction, which is a fairly common practice. Still, with the All Star Game at CitiField this summer, I sincerely hope they substantially honor him this season.

-I took this too personally. As if it's an attack on New York or East Coast bias or the Mets or my fanhood. And obviously it's not. But this does hurt. I really hope he is voted in in 2014.

Somewhat Baseless Oscar Nomination Predictions

Last year, I made "Completely Baseless Oscar Nomination Predictions." This year I've actually seen 5 of the likely nomination-heavy films, so they're not quite as baseless. So here we go. Again, there will be 5 nominees in each of the acting categories, and between 5 to 10 best picture nominees.

Supporting Actress

My Picks:
Anne Hathaway, Les Miserables
Sally Field, Lincoln
Amy Adams, The Master
Helen Hunt, The Sessions
Maggie Smith, The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel

Who I Probably Missed:
Nicole Kidman, The Paperboy

Who I Wish Had a Shot:
Samantha Barks, Les Miserables


Supporting Actor

My Picks:
Alan Arkin, Argo
Tommy Lee Jones, Lincoln
Robert DeNiro, Silver Linings Playbook
Philip Seymour Hoffman, The Master
Leonardo DiCaprio, Django Unchained

Who I Probably Missed:
Javier Bardem, Skyfall

Who I Wish Had a Shot:
Woody Harrelson, The Hunger Games


Best Actress

My Picks:
Jessica Chastain, Zero Dark Thirty
Jennifer Lawrence, Silver Linings Playbook
Marion Cotillard, Rust and Bone
Emmanuelle Riva, Amour
Naomi Watts, The Impossible

Who I Probably Missed:
Helen Mirren, Hitchcock

Who I Wish Had a Shot:

Anna Kendrick, Pitch Perfect

Best Actor

My Picks:
Bradley Cooper, Silver Linings Playbook
Hugh Jackman, Les Miserables
Daniel Day-Lewis, Lincoln
John Hawkes, The Sessions
Denzel Washington, Flight

Who I Probably Missed:
Joaquin Phoenix, The Master

Who I Wish Had a Shot:

Ben Affleck, Argo

Best Picture
(my guess is eight films are nominated, but I've put the next two I'd guess in parenthesis after those eight)

My Picks:
Les Miserables
Lincoln
Zero Dark Thirty
Argo
Silver Linings Playbook
Django Unchained
Beasts of the Southern Wild
Life of Pi
(Moonrise Kingdom)
(Skyfall)

Who I Probably Missed:
Amour and The Master

Who I Wish Had a Shot:
The Avengers

Television Top Tens of 2012: Hottest Actress

Now comes the most serious of lists, the top ten hot actresses of television in 2012. Joining me in objectifying television stars is Wesley Ambrecht who you can follow on Twitter here and read (very occasional) blog posts from here.

Some rules:
-To pick an actress, you have to, at least occasionally, watch the show.

-Every actress picked is of age. A couple play characters still in high school, but they are all actually of age. Sarah Hyland and Jane Levy are both 22. 

-The Katrina Bowden Rule: the actress must appear in at least half of the episodes of the show that aired in 2012. Katrina Bowden was not in 50% of the 2012 30 Rock episodes.

-Some random ineligibles- Wizards of Waverly Place had 1 episode in 2012, but that wasn't enough to grant Selena Gomez eligibility. Meanwhile, while Lyndsy Fonseca was eligible for Nikita, her HIMYM footage is all from years ago, and she was not eligible for that.

-No reality. I get it, the contestants on The Bachelor are all attractive. Who cares?

-The lists are split for half hour shows and hour long shows.

-And one last point- attractiveness is inherently subjective. These lists aren't meant to insult anyone (well, maybe Cloris Leachman). Feel free to post your lists in the comments.