Tonight Elton John hosts SNL for the first time. I don't know why. He does not have an album coming out, or a new Broadway show he produced, or anything. My best guest is he's promoting the royal wedding, coming up later this month. But he's hosting.
And he's the musical guest. He has done this once before, as musical guest in a 1982 episode hosted by Johnny Cash.
-It has already been confirmed that the Knicks' Carmelo Anthony will have a cameo in 2 sketches. I'm gunna say the first of these is What's Up With That. And since Elton is pulling double duty, Anthony will likely introduce him as musical guest.
-Elton John will NOT perform a musical monologue. Just to switch things up.
-Elton John will dress in drag. He spoiled this one on Fallon on Thursday.
See you at 11:30.
Sketch 1- The show's worst recurring sketch, The Lawerence Welk show, is our open. And here's Elton as a piano virtuoso/confirmed bachelor. And tonight the sisters are being played by Elliot, Pedrad, Bayer, and of course, from inside the piano, Wiig. Not only is this sketch nontopical and not funny, it's exactly the same every single time. On the count of sketches where Elton sings, this is 1. C-.
Monologue- Elton mentions that he was musical guest back in '82, and "of all the things I tried once in the early 80s, this seemed like the safest one to do again." Elton mentions that he just had a son, and pokes fun that he has yet to lose the baby weight. He's being very self depricating, but it's much funnier than when Miley did it. Now he sings a line of Your Song (#2) just to grab the royalties. Much funnier than I expected. A.
Sketch 2- Midbreak- Some ESPN set, maybe women's sports or Greg and Randy? Yup, ESPN Classic, and here's a cameo return by Will Forte as Greg Stink joined by Sudeikis' Pete Twinkle. We've got women's shotput with Wiig vs. Carmelo Anthony. Stink making his classic offtopic comments. I've missed this sketch. And there's the sideline reporter, Stink's brother Steve, played by Tom Hanks! Hanks manages to have the Stink voice down perfectly. Excellent. A+.
NEXT WEEK: HELEN MIRREN AND FOO FIGHTERS!!!
Sketch 3- Midbreak- Looks to be some convention of wizards. It's a British antique show called "Fancy a Jar, Do You?" Interrupted by a BBC News update. A dragon is attacking London. The Knights of the Realm have been activated, those are the celebrities knighted by the Queen. Elton is himself, Hader as Richard Branson, Samberg as Bono, Hanks as Michael Caine, Killam as Ian McKellen, and Kenan as Sir Mix-a-Lot. And Armisen as Ringo, even though he's not a knight. Elton makes a Spiderman joke at Bono and points out the Lion King is still in theaters (by singing, #3). And the dragon was killed by Sting. and back to "Fancy a Jar..." A+
Sketch 4- Digital Short. Hanks is pitching a Laser Cats musical in space to Lorne. There's singing, laser cats, and an unnecessary Space Jam reference. And Melo! And the Dr. Oz set. Elton sings #4. A joke about the gap in Elton John's teeth! And Wilson from Castaway! Just fun. A.
Music 1- Tom Hanks introduces Elton John and Leon Russell, who collaborated with John on his last album. They sing "Hey Ahab."
Weekend Update- Libya. Employment increase. Trump and birthers. "Trump thinks any publicity is good publicity, just like he thinks any hair is good hair." Food coloring investigation. Here's Armisen as Khadafy. That goes pretty much like you think it would, but longer. Obesity stigma. Separated siblings dating online. Plastic surgery lawsuit. Kenan as zookeeper Barry Lewis, who caught the Bronx Zoo cobra. He brought the snake, but lost it. Then he finds it and kills it. Not funny. College dating. Opening day baseball. Hitler house. Bronx- the unhealthiest place in NY. "Get in the Cage" with Nic Cage (Samberg) where he asks other actors questions; tonight Jake Gyllenhaal (actually him). Cage is looking to make another "blockduster." Perez Hilton's childen's book. New everyday Lamborghini. Time Square food service. Solid, but the first two guests were boring. B-.
Sketch 5- Midbreak- We seem to be in some fancy room with an older Hader and Killam. And it's a royal wedding sketch. As seen in the Anne Hathaway episode, Samberg is Prince William, Armisen is Queen Elizabeth, and Hader as Prince Philip. Elton John has come to discuss performing at the wedding. As seen before, when William steps out, they the Queen and Prince become cockney ass holes. Now the three of them have become a punk rock group. Weird. B.
Sketch 6- Midbreak- Some sort of studio maybe? It's a show called "The Silver Screen" on Logo. Killam and Elton are playing the flamboyant hosts. Claudette Colbert- "those bangs just scream sex." And now, promoting Suckerpunch, Vanessa Hudgens, played by Pedrad. And there's a kiss between Killam and Elton that might just make Colbie Smulders jealous. And another. Pedrad's expression of confusion matches mine right now. C-.
Sketch 7- Midbreak- Looks like an old-timey bar/shoppe. It is, in fact, an old Western bar. Elton John rides in on a Unicorn. He's gay, but Wiig can't pick up on it. Very, very strange. But amusing. Oh there's a late twist that makes it funnier. B+.
Music 2- Melo introduces Elton and Russell again. They perform "Monkey Suit." Sadly, no classic Elton tonight.
Overall- A very strange episode. Only 7 sketches, a sketch without the host early, four cameos without What Up With That, mostly Elton playing himself or versions of himself. It peaked early but was never truly awful. The early stuff was some of the best in a long time. A-.