Wednesday, April 27, 2011

100 Predictions

In Bergeronian order, here are 100 random predictions, based on nothing:

1. One cast member of The Office other than Steve Carell will leave by the end of season 8. It may not be one of the leads, but one of the cast members will leave.
2. If that cast member isn't Mindy Kaling, she will have been promoted to a lead role, whether or not Kelly replaces Michael as the boss.
3. Ken Jeong will be the breakout star of The Hangover 2, more than he was from Knocked Up or The Hangover.
4. This will lead to a bump in Community's ratings, to the point where it is able to last at least 5 seasons and hit syndication.
5. The Arrested Development movie will be made by the end of 2013.
6. Of the sitcoms currently on network television, Parks and Recreation will outlast all the others.
7. The final season of Entourage will be better than the last season by a mile.
8. By the time the first seasons of each end, The Voice will have higher average ratings than X Factor.
9. But both The Voice and X Factor will be nowhere near American Idol's averages.
10. We will meet the mother on How I Met Your Mother before we learn she is the mother.
11. But we will learn she is the mother within 2 episodes of meeting her.
12. Cam Newton will be a better NFL QB than Blaine Gabbert.
13. At least one QB from this draft will be better than both Newton or Gabbert. It might be Locker, Dalton, Ponder, or Mallett, I don't know, but at least one of them will be the best QB in the draft.
14. The Jets will draft a defensive player with their first pick.
15. The Jets will draft more players in this draft than they have in either of the past two drafts.
16. The NFL lockout will not affect the regular season.
17. Donald Trump may or may not run for president. But either way he will fail to win a single primary.
18. The Republican nominee in 2012 will be a former/current governor.
19. Barack Obama will be reelected. It will be closer than the 2008 election, but the result will never truly be in doubt.
20. The Democrats will remain in control of the Senate after the 2012 election. There may not even be a change in the net total.
21. The Republicans will remain in control of the House after the 2012 election. The Democrats will gain a few seats, but not many.
22. The next Supreme Court justice to retire will be Ruth Bader Ginsburg.
23. Ginsburg will be replaced by an African American.
24. Hillary Clinton will not remain Secretary of State in the 2nd administration.
25. Hillary will run for president in 2016.
26. Vice President Biden will not run for president in 2016.
27. Katie Couric will have massive success as a talk show host on ABC, and will get to do the stories on 20/20 that she wanted to do when she had 60 Minutes appearances written into her CBS contract.
28. Pia Toscano will be the first American Idol alum to be a contestant on Dancing with the Stars.
29. She will finish better than she did on Idol.
30. She won't win.
31. The first Mets no hitter will come before they make the playoffs again.
32. Prince William and Kate Middleton will remain married, and they will eventually become King and Queen.
33. The Phantom of the Opera will close on Broadway by the end of 2014.
34. Versus will be renamed NBC Sports and will eventually feature an extra hour of pregame for Sunday night football on NBC.
35. Win or lose, Lauren Alaina will have the most hits of any of the top 6 for season 10 of American Idol.
36. No future Idol winner will ever be as successful as Kelly Clarkson or Carrie Underwood.
37. No future Idol winner will ever be less successful than Taylor Hicks.
38. Derek Jeter will never sign another major league contract.
39. Grey's Anatomy will outlast Private Practice.
40. The restaurant chain created by the winner of America's Next Great Restaurant will close within three years.
41. ANGR won't be renewed, but a similarly themed show will show up on cable within two years and be significantly more successful.
42. An AFC team will win the Super Bowl in 2012.
43. A comedy will win the Academy Award for Best Picture this decade.
44. I haven't watched the show, but I don't think Boston Rob will win Survivor. He's currently 0-for-4-for-CBS reality shows.
45. Whoever replaced Regis on Live! will be somewhat famous, but not a household name.
46. A Broadway revival of Pippin will occur in the next 5 years. It will be a success, and feature a major, a-list star.
47. Either CBS's Mark Schlereth sitcom or it's Colin Cowherd sitcom will make it on air, but not both.
48. The NBA lockout will cut into the 2011-12 season.
49. Kobe Bryant will not win another NBA title if the Lakers don't win this year.
50. Phil Jackson will not coach again after this year.
51. Mike Piazza will go into the Hall-of-Fame as a Met, and the Mets will retire #31 in his honor. The Dodgers will retire it as well. The Marlins, Padres, and Athletics will forget he played for them.
52. Chuck will be picked up for a final 13-episode season.
53. Two and a Half Men will try something next season, but it will fail and the show will be cancelled.
54. Charlie Sheen will never have a scripted tv series again.
55. Big Bang Theory will have a bounce back season next year.
56. Modern Family will not have a bounce back season, but will stay at the level of this season.
57. There will be no more Law and Orders by 2013.
58. Despite deserving it, Jon Hamm won't win the Best Actor Emmy this year.
59. The killer on The Killing is not going to be anyone discussed as a suspect up to this point.
60. There will be a new, better statistic to replace QB Rating in the next year.
61. Neither the MLB or the NBA will have contraction, even though both leagues have taken ownership of teams in the past year.
62. The Sacramento Kings will remain in Sacramento for the at least the next 2 seasons.
63. Aaron Sorkin's HBO show will be the network's biggest hit since The Sopranos.
64. Zooey Deschanel's series will be the best new show on network television next year.
65. The NBC sitcom with Christina Applegate, Maya Rudolph, and Will Arnett will last only one season.
66. Scott Pelley, from 60 Minutes, will replace Katie Couric as anchor of the nightly news.
67. Ratings won't improve with Pelley, but they won't drop, and he'll stay as anchor longterm, ending the turnover across the 3 networks over the past decade.
68. Fred Armisen will leave SNL after this season.
69. Jay Pharoah will take over as President Obama.
70. Justin Timberlake and Andy Samberg will do a digital short when JT hosts next month, but it won't be related to Dick in a Box or Mother Lover.
71. Tina Fey will replace Lorne Michaels as head of SNL when he retires.
72. Jimmy Fallon will not replace Jay Leno when he leaves The Tonight Show again.
73. Joel McHale will leave The Soup in 2012.
74. Whenever Jon Stewart leaves The Daily Show, Olivia Munn will be his replacement.
75. The New York Islanders will move to Brooklyn in the same building as the Nets.
76. Glee will find a new lead teacher to replace or at least compliment Mr. Schuster by season four.
77. They'll find a way to keep Lea Michele on Glee even after Rachel Berry graduates from high school.
78. Isiah Washington will return to Grey's Anatomy before the series ends.
79. Katherine Heigl will not return to Grey's Anatomy.
80. The success of Jason Segel's Muppets movie will lead to a new Muppets tv series.
81. The Bones spinoff isn't going to air.
82. Better With You probably won't be picked up, but it's going to be a last minute, upfronts announcement.
83. The Rock of Ages movie is going to launch Julianne Hough to A-list superstardom.
84. Eliot Spitzer will run for the Democratic primary for NYC mayor in 2013.
85. He'll lose.
86. Donnie Walsh and Mike D'Antoni will both be back with the Knicks for the start of next season.
87. Erik Spoelstra will not be the head coach of the Heat the next time they win an NBA title.
88. Cougar Town will last at least four seasons, bringing to an end any claim of a "Friends Curse."
89. NBC's Smash is either going to be phenominal or the worst show ever to air on national television.
90. It might not be Happy Endings, but Eliza Coupe will be a star of a hit, long running sitcom.
91. Tiger Woods will win 2 majors in the next 2 years.
92. A gay marriage proposition will pass a statewide election in 2012.
93. GW will replace Karl Hobbs with Vermont basketball coach Mike Lonergan.
94. Dwight Howard will be a member of the Los Angeles Lakers by the start of the 2012-13 NBA season.
95. Albert Pujols will be a St. Louis Cardinal for his entire career.
96. Kirsten Gillibrand will either eventually be the Democratic leader in the Senate of the Governor of New York.
97. Chris Bosh will never be elected to start an All Star game.
98. Washington, D.C. will get 2 voting senators and a representative by 2016.
99. Gwyneth Paltrow will eventually be an EGOT winner.
100. Neil Patrick Harris will host the Oscars, but not until after How I Met Your Mother ends.

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