Jets over STEELERS
Packers over BEARS
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Conference Championship NFL Picks
Last week I went 2-2, getting both NFC games right and both AFC games wrong. That put me at 5-3 for the playoffs. Today:
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Back to Pawnee
Parks and Recreation returns to NBC tonight after an 8 month hiatus. The show's brief first season was mediocre, but the second season launched it into one of the top comedies on TV. And now, the cast welcomes you back:
And from tonight's episode:
A Note on Sitcom Rankings
I have decided to combine December/January rankings for sitcoms since most shows will only have 4 or so episodes over that span, a typical month load. Rankings will be up in 2 weeks!
Sunday, January 16, 2011
My Golden Globes Predictions
Tonight, Ricky Gervais hosts the 68th annual Golden Globe Awards. The Golden Globes honor both television and film, and are sometimes seen as a predictor for the Oscars. Unlike the Emmys, the Globes look at television over the calender year, rather than the television September-August season.
Here are my predictions for the 16 big awards:
Best Motion Picture (Drama):
The Nominees:
Black Swan
The Fighter
Inception
The King's Speech
The Social Network
My pick:
I only saw two, but I thought The King's Speech was phenominal.
What will win:
Black Swan
Best Motion Picture (Comedy/Musical):
The Nominees:
Alice in Wonderland
Burlesque
The Kids are Alright
Red
The Tourist
My pick:
Again, only saw 2, but The Kids are Alright was the only one considered a top tier movie.
What will win:
The Kids are Alright
Actor in a Motion Picture (Drama):
The Nominees:
Jesse Eisenberg (The Social Network)
Colin Firth (The King's Speech)
James Franco (127 Hours)
Ryan Gosling (Blue Valentine)
Mark Wahlberg (The Fighter)
My pick:
I'd go with Eisenberg, who was phenominal as Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg.
Who will win:
Wahlberg
Actress in a Motion Picture (Drama):
The Nominees:
Halle Berry (Frankie and Alice)
Nicole Kidman (Rabbit Hole)
Jennifer Lawrence (Winter's Bone)
Natalie Portman (Black Swan)
Michelle Williams (Blue Valentine)
Michelle Williams (Blue Valentine)
My pick:
Portman
Who will win:
Portman
Actor in a Motion Picture (Comedy/Musical):
The Nominees:
Johnny Depp (Alice in Wonderland)
Johnny Depp (The Tourist)
Paul Giamatti (Barney's Vision)
Jake Gyllenhaal (Love and Other Drugs)
Kevin Spacey (Casino Jack)
My pick:
While the odds dictate Depp has the best chance, I'm going Gyllenhaal.
Who will win:
Depp (Alice)
Actress in a Motion Picture (Comedy/Musical):
The Nominees:
Annette Benning (The Kids are Alright)
Anne Hathaway (Love and Other Drugs)
Angelina Jolie (The Tourist)
Julianne Moore (The Kids are Alright)
Emma Stone (Easy A)
My pick:
Really? Emma Stone? That was the best we could do? I'm going Moore.
Who will win:
Hathaway
Best Supporting Actor:
The Nominees:
Christian Bale (The Fighter)
Michael Douglas (Wall Street 2)
Andrew Garfield (The Social Network)
Jeremy Renner (The Town)
Geoffrey Rush (The King's Speech)
My pick:
Douglas is there for the sympathy vote, but I'm going with Rush.
Who will win:
Bale
Best Supporting Actress:
The Nominees:
Amy Adams (The Fighter)
Helena Bonham Carter (The King's Speech)
Mila Kunis (Black Swan)
Melissa Leo (The Fighter)
Jacki Weaver (Animal Kingdom)
My pick:
Carter showed unbelievable depth this year by being fantastic in 3 completely different movies- The King's Speech, Alice, and Harry Potter 6. I give her the nod.
Who will win:
Adams
Best Series (Drama):
The Nominees:
Boardwalk Empire
Dexter
The Good Wife
Mad Men
The Walking Dead
My pick:
Boardwalk Empire
What will win:
Boardwalk Empire
Best Series (Comedy/Musical):
The Nominees:
30 Rock
Big Bang Theory
The Big C
Glee
Modern Family
Nurse Jackie
My pick:
Ah, 6 nominations. Globes echo Emmy's with Modern Family.
Who will win:
Modern Family
Actor (Drama):
The Nominees:
Steve Buscemi (Boardwalk Empire)
Bryan Cranston (Breaking Bad)
Bryan Cranston (Breaking Bad)
Michael C. Hall (Dexter)
Jon Hamm (Mad Men)
Hugh Laurie (House)
My pick:
Laurie is just there so the networks have something. Cranston is winning, as always.
Who will win:
Cranston
Actress (Drama):
The Nominees:
Julianna Margulies (The Good Wife)
Elisabeth Moss (Mad Men)
Piper Perabo (Covert Affairs)
Katy Segal (Sons of Anarchy)
Kyra Sedgwick (The Closer)
My pick:
Margulies
Who will win:
Sedgwick
Actor (Comedy/Musical):
The Nominees:
Alec Baldwin (30 Rock)
Steve Carell (The Office)
Thomas Jane (Hung)
Matthew Morrison (Glee)
Jim Parsons (Big Bang Theory)
My pick:
Parsons. It's not close.
Who will win:
Parsons
Actress (Comedy/Musical):
The Nominees:
Toni Collette (United States of Tara)
Edie Falco (Nurse Jackie)
Tina Fey (30 Rock)
Laura Linney (The Big C)
Lea Michele (Glee)
My pick:
Very close race, but I'd go Michele.
Who will win:
Falco
Supporting Actor:
The Nominees:
Scott Caan (Hawaii Five-0)
Chris Colfer (Glee)
Chris Noth (The Good Wife)
Eric Stonestreet (Modern Family)
David Strathairn (Temple Grandin)
My pick:
They throw the miniseries/made-for-tv movies in here just to mess with predictions, and if I learned one thing from the Emmys, it is to never bet against Temple Grandin. Still, I'm going Colfer.
Supporting Actress:
The Nominees:
Hope Davis (The Special Relationship)
Jane Lynch (Glee)
Kelly Macdonald (Boardwalk Empire)
Julia Stiles (Dexter)
Sofia Vergara (Modern Family)
My pick:
Lynch
Who will win:
Lynch
And that's that. We'll see tonight who wins, and how I do.
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Some Random Thoughts about SNL 36x12: Paltrow/Green
Gwyneth Paltrow hosts SNL for the 3rd time tonight. This continues the show's recent trend- 4 of the last 5 hosts are hosting for the first time in a while (De Niro, Bridges, Carrey, Paltrow). A very young Paltrow promoted her hit Shakespeare in Love by hosting in season 24, a 1999 episode that featured the Barenaked Ladies, a Monica Lewinsky cold open, and a Mary Katharine Gallagher sketch. She returned in 2001 for a season 27 episode with musical guest Ryan Adams. This week she promotes another film with Oscar buzz, Country Strong, while possibly also giving a shoutout to her return to Glee.
Cee Lo Green is making his first SNL appearance tonight. He was actually portrayed by Kenan Thompson in the Anne Hathaway episode this season. Green's song, "F*ck You," was a major hit in 2010, and exploded even more when the radio edit, "Forget You" was performed on an episode of Glee by...Gwyneth Paltrow. *EDIT* Green actually was musical guest in a season 33 episode hosted by Ashton Kutcher, as lead singer of Gnarls Barkley.
Some predictions:
-Paltrow and Green will sing "Forget You" together. I'm not sure if this was announced or just speculated, but it would be stunning if it didn't happen.
-Paltrow was stuck in London for much of the week, so expect a low workload for the host, and therefore likely several recurring characters.
-I'm going with 1 cameo, by Paltrow's mother Blythe Danner, who herself hosted way back in season 7. Because whenever the host's mother lives in New York and has a movie in the theaters, I bet she cameos.
See you back at 11:30!
Sketch 1- Ahh, Wiig's Greta is back, "embracing civility." We've got Sean Hannity (Moynihan), Michelle Malkin (Pedrad), and Glenn Beck (Sudeikis), all attempting to be more civil. And to show their civility, here's CNN's James Carville (Hader). Carville tempting the others with his extraordinarily liberal day. And Maddow (Elliot) has taken over Beck's chalk board. I enjoy many of these impressions but they've all been better done before. Still, a solid start. B+
Monologue- Gwyneth talking about how, since she last hosted, she moved to London and took time off to become British. Ironically, the first time she hosted her monologue was about her being British. Next, she talks about how she's immersed herself in country music like "Johnny Cash...and that lady with the hair and the big boobs." Next Sudeikis comes out as Kenny "Garth Brooks" Rogers, and Paltrow has to sing a duet of "Islands in the Stream" she doesn't know with him. And here's Wiig's Dolly Parton. And Cee Lo Green, who is a lot shorter than I would have guessed. And he wants to join in on "Islands in the Stream." Not great, but amusing. B+
Sketch 2- Ad parody for The Cape. If you like super heroes who get their powers from pieces of clothing, with The Scarf, The Smock, The Leg Warmer, The Sleep Mask, The Bolo Tie, The Water Bottle Holder, The Scrunchie, and The Television Event of 2011, The Spanx. Again, not great, but not terrible. B
Sketch 3- Looks like we're getting some sort of talk show. Nope, its Game Show Network's Secret Word. That means Wiig's Broadway star. Yup, here she is. Last time Jane Lynch played a comedian, tonight Paltrow plays a socialite. Hader hosts, with Kenan and Killam. Shockingly, Wiig's actress still sucks at this. And Paltrow's isn't better. While other mediocre sketches get funnier on repeat plays, this one is flat. It is what it is, and that's mediocre. C+
Sketch 4- A digital short has Samberg and Pee Wee Herman at a bar. And here's what a drunk Pee Wee Herman is like. Kinda amusing. And there's Anderson Cooper! And Kenan, Wiig, and Armisen, along with the Playhouse gang and AC are at Samberg's apartment for an intervention. And they celebrate their friendship with some more shots. Amusing and random. A-
IN TWO WEEKS- JESSE EISENBERG AND NIKKI MINAJ!!!
Sketch 5- We seem to be looking at a Bar Mitzvah. It is Brayer is playing the Bar Mitzvah boy, thanking his guests, along with his father, played by Armisen. And they got Taylor Swift, as played by Paltrow! She's doing a solid Swift. And a Jewish themed version of You Belong to Me. Another guest! Jay-Z from Pharaoh. With a Jewish themed version of Empire State of Mind. Joined by Pedrad's Alicia Keyes with an awesome chorus about Jacob's Bar Mitzvah. And here's Elliot's Katy Perry wishing us a Happy Jewish! With Ashkenazi Joos (I assume that Joos:Jews as Gurls:Girls)! And now, Cee Lo Green, a "member of the tribe," with "Talk Hebrew." Brilliant. One of the best sketches in a long time. A+
Sketch 6- This involves Paltrow as a brunette. Record company, trying to figure out how to get "Forget You" on the radio, since the FCC decided "forget" is obscene. And they use "forget" as f*ck. This is amusing. Ok, its brilliant. Also, using "dixie cup," "Nintendo," and "Country Strong" amongst others- you can figure out what for. And that's the intro for... A
Music 1- Cee Lo Green performs "Forget You." We've also got "ain't that some shhh," but seemingly no Gwyneth, shockingly. There are some very distracting silhouettes in the background however.
Weekend Update- Blood Libel, Tom Delay, Verizon iPhone, Meyers editorializing on what the Found Fathers would say about guns/2nd amendment (what are these cars?). Facebook, baboons. And 2012 candidate Jimmy McMillan (Kenan)! Because the Rent is 2 Damn High! And he's running with the GOP! He's running on the platform of The Deficit is 2 Damn High! Extra, Apollo 12, Canadian Skunk, Golden Globes- Bayer is there at the pre-party to talk to the nominees. Pedrad as Aguilera and Hader as Cher for Burlesque. With Moynihan as Chaz Bono as the Golden Globes' Miss(ter) Golden Globes. New ABC sitcom, Volcanic Flambe, Phoenix Jones, and here is Garth and Katt! I feel like they haven't prepared for their performance. This only gets funny when either Armisen or Wiig cracks. Who will go first? Ah, first they have to introduce Paltrow's Kim Castle, their look-alike song writer. Ehh. Still a strong update. B+
Sketch 7- A Globe Theater performance of Taming of the Shrew. Really, a Shakespeare sketch with Paltrow? Ah the debut of "previews" in theater. This is amusing. A preview of "Romeo and Juliet- A Romance to Die For." Make sure to silence your falcons! There are no emergency exits! A preview for Hamlet. Any recording is prohibited. Refreshments in the foyer! Complete with a "let's all go to the lobby" song. Another preview- "You loved Henry the IV..." I could've done without the false history tag, but another strong sketch in what is shaping up as the best episode in a long time. A-
Sketch 8- Pretty sure that was Ed O'Neill in the live look in. An ad for the Fresh Prince 20th anniversary edition. Pharaoh owns Will Smith. Kenan is Carlton. Paltrow is a cop. And obviously no Ed O'Neill. B
Sketch 9- We're getting a Sports Center sketch. Actually SC on ESPN Deportes. Brittain and Paltrow are the anchors. The entire joke might be them breaking into American accents on names. And yet it is still humorous. Ah, they also use American catch phrases. Pharaoh's Kevin Garnett doesn't speak Spanish. An ad for the new beer Tres Equis. Nothing spectacular, but not terrible. B-
Music 2- Cee Lo Green apparently has a second song. It is called "Bright Lights Bigger City." So he's got that going for him...
Sketch 10- Auditions to replace Kathleen Parker, with Hader as Spitzer. Pedrad is Christian Amanpour. Hader's semi-bald wig is terrible. Paltrow as Heidi Klum. And it's Paterson Spitzer! Awesome! So glad to see this impression live on! It is so much better than...New Jersey!
Overall- One of the best episodes in a long time. Very little weakness, and a lot of fun impressions. Paltrow was much better than I expected. A.
Cee Lo Green is making his first SNL appearance tonight. He was actually portrayed by Kenan Thompson in the Anne Hathaway episode this season. Green's song, "F*ck You," was a major hit in 2010, and exploded even more when the radio edit, "Forget You" was performed on an episode of Glee by...Gwyneth Paltrow. *EDIT* Green actually was musical guest in a season 33 episode hosted by Ashton Kutcher, as lead singer of Gnarls Barkley.
Some predictions:
-Paltrow and Green will sing "Forget You" together. I'm not sure if this was announced or just speculated, but it would be stunning if it didn't happen.
-Paltrow was stuck in London for much of the week, so expect a low workload for the host, and therefore likely several recurring characters.
-I'm going with 1 cameo, by Paltrow's mother Blythe Danner, who herself hosted way back in season 7. Because whenever the host's mother lives in New York and has a movie in the theaters, I bet she cameos.
See you back at 11:30!
Sketch 1- Ahh, Wiig's Greta is back, "embracing civility." We've got Sean Hannity (Moynihan), Michelle Malkin (Pedrad), and Glenn Beck (Sudeikis), all attempting to be more civil. And to show their civility, here's CNN's James Carville (Hader). Carville tempting the others with his extraordinarily liberal day. And Maddow (Elliot) has taken over Beck's chalk board. I enjoy many of these impressions but they've all been better done before. Still, a solid start. B+
Monologue- Gwyneth talking about how, since she last hosted, she moved to London and took time off to become British. Ironically, the first time she hosted her monologue was about her being British. Next, she talks about how she's immersed herself in country music like "Johnny Cash...and that lady with the hair and the big boobs." Next Sudeikis comes out as Kenny "Garth Brooks" Rogers, and Paltrow has to sing a duet of "Islands in the Stream" she doesn't know with him. And here's Wiig's Dolly Parton. And Cee Lo Green, who is a lot shorter than I would have guessed. And he wants to join in on "Islands in the Stream." Not great, but amusing. B+
Sketch 2- Ad parody for The Cape. If you like super heroes who get their powers from pieces of clothing, with The Scarf, The Smock, The Leg Warmer, The Sleep Mask, The Bolo Tie, The Water Bottle Holder, The Scrunchie, and The Television Event of 2011, The Spanx. Again, not great, but not terrible. B
Sketch 3- Looks like we're getting some sort of talk show. Nope, its Game Show Network's Secret Word. That means Wiig's Broadway star. Yup, here she is. Last time Jane Lynch played a comedian, tonight Paltrow plays a socialite. Hader hosts, with Kenan and Killam. Shockingly, Wiig's actress still sucks at this. And Paltrow's isn't better. While other mediocre sketches get funnier on repeat plays, this one is flat. It is what it is, and that's mediocre. C+
Sketch 4- A digital short has Samberg and Pee Wee Herman at a bar. And here's what a drunk Pee Wee Herman is like. Kinda amusing. And there's Anderson Cooper! And Kenan, Wiig, and Armisen, along with the Playhouse gang and AC are at Samberg's apartment for an intervention. And they celebrate their friendship with some more shots. Amusing and random. A-
IN TWO WEEKS- JESSE EISENBERG AND NIKKI MINAJ!!!
Sketch 5- We seem to be looking at a Bar Mitzvah. It is Brayer is playing the Bar Mitzvah boy, thanking his guests, along with his father, played by Armisen. And they got Taylor Swift, as played by Paltrow! She's doing a solid Swift. And a Jewish themed version of You Belong to Me. Another guest! Jay-Z from Pharaoh. With a Jewish themed version of Empire State of Mind. Joined by Pedrad's Alicia Keyes with an awesome chorus about Jacob's Bar Mitzvah. And here's Elliot's Katy Perry wishing us a Happy Jewish! With Ashkenazi Joos (I assume that Joos:Jews as Gurls:Girls)! And now, Cee Lo Green, a "member of the tribe," with "Talk Hebrew." Brilliant. One of the best sketches in a long time. A+
Sketch 6- This involves Paltrow as a brunette. Record company, trying to figure out how to get "Forget You" on the radio, since the FCC decided "forget" is obscene. And they use "forget" as f*ck. This is amusing. Ok, its brilliant. Also, using "dixie cup," "Nintendo," and "Country Strong" amongst others- you can figure out what for. And that's the intro for... A
Music 1- Cee Lo Green performs "Forget You." We've also got "ain't that some shhh," but seemingly no Gwyneth, shockingly. There are some very distracting silhouettes in the background however.
Weekend Update- Blood Libel, Tom Delay, Verizon iPhone, Meyers editorializing on what the Found Fathers would say about guns/2nd amendment (what are these cars?). Facebook, baboons. And 2012 candidate Jimmy McMillan (Kenan)! Because the Rent is 2 Damn High! And he's running with the GOP! He's running on the platform of The Deficit is 2 Damn High! Extra, Apollo 12, Canadian Skunk, Golden Globes- Bayer is there at the pre-party to talk to the nominees. Pedrad as Aguilera and Hader as Cher for Burlesque. With Moynihan as Chaz Bono as the Golden Globes' Miss(ter) Golden Globes. New ABC sitcom, Volcanic Flambe, Phoenix Jones, and here is Garth and Katt! I feel like they haven't prepared for their performance. This only gets funny when either Armisen or Wiig cracks. Who will go first? Ah, first they have to introduce Paltrow's Kim Castle, their look-alike song writer. Ehh. Still a strong update. B+
Sketch 7- A Globe Theater performance of Taming of the Shrew. Really, a Shakespeare sketch with Paltrow? Ah the debut of "previews" in theater. This is amusing. A preview of "Romeo and Juliet- A Romance to Die For." Make sure to silence your falcons! There are no emergency exits! A preview for Hamlet. Any recording is prohibited. Refreshments in the foyer! Complete with a "let's all go to the lobby" song. Another preview- "You loved Henry the IV..." I could've done without the false history tag, but another strong sketch in what is shaping up as the best episode in a long time. A-
Sketch 8- Pretty sure that was Ed O'Neill in the live look in. An ad for the Fresh Prince 20th anniversary edition. Pharaoh owns Will Smith. Kenan is Carlton. Paltrow is a cop. And obviously no Ed O'Neill. B
Sketch 9- We're getting a Sports Center sketch. Actually SC on ESPN Deportes. Brittain and Paltrow are the anchors. The entire joke might be them breaking into American accents on names. And yet it is still humorous. Ah, they also use American catch phrases. Pharaoh's Kevin Garnett doesn't speak Spanish. An ad for the new beer Tres Equis. Nothing spectacular, but not terrible. B-
Music 2- Cee Lo Green apparently has a second song. It is called "Bright Lights Bigger City." So he's got that going for him...
Sketch 10- Auditions to replace Kathleen Parker, with Hader as Spitzer. Pedrad is Christian Amanpour. Hader's semi-bald wig is terrible. Paltrow as Heidi Klum. And it's Paterson Spitzer! Awesome! So glad to see this impression live on! It is so much better than...New Jersey!
Overall- One of the best episodes in a long time. Very little weakness, and a lot of fun impressions. Paltrow was much better than I expected. A.
Divisional Round NFL Picks
Last week, like most of the predicting universe, I went 3-1. While I missed the start of this first game, it doesn't matter because I picked the game last week, with only 1 change:
PATRIOTS over Jets
Ravens over STEELERS
BEARS over Seahawks
Packers over FALCONS
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Some Random Thoughts About SNL 36x11: Carrey/The Black Keys
Last night, Jim Carrey hosted SNL for the second time. The first was way back in 1996, which to give you an idea of how long ago that really was, was David Spade's final episode. Tonight he is presumably promoting "I Love You, Phillip Morris" although I'm not totally certain on when that film came out.
The musical guest is The Black Keys, making their first appearance.
Since this is a retroblog, there will be no predictions (I feel like I would have heard if President Obama cameoed last night). Also the sketches are in order that they appeared on Hulu, followed by any that apparently did not make the Hulu cut if there are any.
Sketch 1- I don't think we've seen Armisen as Mayor Bloomberg before. I wonder if an Obama sketch was cut because they couldn't use Obama and ignore the Arizona tragedy. He doesn't have the look, but the voice is very strong. About the blizzard, with dumb questions about snow. Urges all New Yorkers not to leave apartment or look out windows. Actually pretty funny, but goes on a bit too long. A random gratuitous Bloomberg anti-smoking line. B.
Monologue- Jim Carrey proving its live with a "How bout those Jets?" intro. He clearly has a lot of energy. But he's Jim Carrey so that's not too surprising. Optimism about the Apocalypse. C.
Sketch 2- The Bosley pubic hair ad for a record third episode. Same exact ad. Not doing it differently. Just reairing the same ad. I'm not even grading this.
NEXT WEEK- GWYNETH PALTROW AND CEE LO GREEN
Sketch 3- Black Swan sketch. Pedrad as Natalie Portman. Hader as her instructor? He likes her "white swan" but not her "black swan." Jim Carrey playing a dancer who's "black swan" is much better. Carrey doing the physical comedy that made his career. Unfortunately it just isn't funny. Now a dance off. This has lasted way too long. The joke was Jim Carrey was a man all along. D.
Sketch 4- A talk show called "Finding Your Power." A beaded Sudeikis as host/therapist. Samberg had a confrontation with his boss. New girl recently confronted her sister. The joke seems to be that while they say they really yelled at the person, really they cried and said the opposite. Really, that is the joke. They say the opposite of what they do. Jim Carrey's wife told him she was sleeping with someone else, and he yelled at her. And guess what, he really just cried to her. That's it. D-.
Sketch 5- Kenan's Grady Wilson sex techniques. One of the worst recurring sketches ever. And Carey plays an eastern techniques expert. This is shaping up to be a historically bad episode. D.
Sketch 6- A Time/Life special of The Worst of Soul Train. This is gunna be a bunch of bad 70s music, but at least it is randomly funny. And in this episoe, that is enough. Like Triangle Sally's only recorded song, I Have a Triangle. Ocean Billy is the Jon Bovi of Billy Ocean. B.
Music- The Black Keys 2 performances were "Howlin' for You" and "Tighten Up."
Weekend Update- Boehner/Pelosi. The Constitution read aloud. Jerry Brown. John Edwards' engagement. And here are Fmr. Speaker Pelosi and Speaker Boehner. Hader's Boehner is horrendous. "Some tea partiers didn't realize they would get chairs, and brought their own lawn furniture." Now Boehner crying. For anything. Huck Finn. Miss New York. And here is second hand news correspondent, Anthony Crispino as played by Moynihan. "Oprah finally got her own TV set, and is now having her friends over like Dr. J and the Wizard of Oz...The military can finally use the alphabet thanks to the repeal of Don't Speak Don't Tell, despite John McClain's objections...John Boehner got new speakers for his house from Snooki's mom, Nancy Pelizzi, because he's having a tea party...New gay governor Andrew Homo...Brett Favre announced he is retarted for good." Mickey Rourke. Polar Bear Club Wedding. Arkansas native Cameron, the red wing blackbird, the lone survivor, portrayed by Samberg. It's the Aflockalypse. Newbie playing a surviving fish, who believes it is the Apocafish. And the two are apparently a gay bird/fish couple. Or it is the Oprahcalypse. Slow old people joke. Jwoww. Very strong WU. A.
Sketch 7- Some sort of carnival. Kenan and Wiig on the Merryville Trolly Ride. Carrey, Mr. Scherbotsky, and Hader as anamatronic characters. They're stuck there, and it is frightening Kenan. The ride is breaking down. Now they come with knives. B+.
Sketch 8- Sudeikis and Pedrad are a couple, along with new girl, seeing a psychic Carrey. He used to be a comedian impressionist. And he still is. With a dead-on Jimmy Stewart. And Billie Holiday. Just a sketch for Carrey to show off his impressions. Now Alan Thicke. Brilliant. Can all Canadians portray eachother? Miss Piggy! And Kermit! Charles Bronson. And Sammy Davis, Jr. A.
Sketch 9- Hader is mcing a concert in NYC. Now A Taste of New York, with Armisen, Carrey, and Wiig as seemingly homeless musicians. Crowd asks for New York, New York and On Broadway. But they perform a depressing song asking people if they can stay with them. And it pretty much keeps going. And going. D.
Final Grade- A weird episode, that got stronger post-WU, with the exception of a horrible end. Yet it made the best of Carrey, so: B.
The musical guest is The Black Keys, making their first appearance.
Since this is a retroblog, there will be no predictions (I feel like I would have heard if President Obama cameoed last night). Also the sketches are in order that they appeared on Hulu, followed by any that apparently did not make the Hulu cut if there are any.
Sketch 1- I don't think we've seen Armisen as Mayor Bloomberg before. I wonder if an Obama sketch was cut because they couldn't use Obama and ignore the Arizona tragedy. He doesn't have the look, but the voice is very strong. About the blizzard, with dumb questions about snow. Urges all New Yorkers not to leave apartment or look out windows. Actually pretty funny, but goes on a bit too long. A random gratuitous Bloomberg anti-smoking line. B.
Monologue- Jim Carrey proving its live with a "How bout those Jets?" intro. He clearly has a lot of energy. But he's Jim Carrey so that's not too surprising. Optimism about the Apocalypse. C.
Sketch 2- The Bosley pubic hair ad for a record third episode. Same exact ad. Not doing it differently. Just reairing the same ad. I'm not even grading this.
NEXT WEEK- GWYNETH PALTROW AND CEE LO GREEN
Sketch 3- Black Swan sketch. Pedrad as Natalie Portman. Hader as her instructor? He likes her "white swan" but not her "black swan." Jim Carrey playing a dancer who's "black swan" is much better. Carrey doing the physical comedy that made his career. Unfortunately it just isn't funny. Now a dance off. This has lasted way too long. The joke was Jim Carrey was a man all along. D.
Sketch 4- A talk show called "Finding Your Power." A beaded Sudeikis as host/therapist. Samberg had a confrontation with his boss. New girl recently confronted her sister. The joke seems to be that while they say they really yelled at the person, really they cried and said the opposite. Really, that is the joke. They say the opposite of what they do. Jim Carrey's wife told him she was sleeping with someone else, and he yelled at her. And guess what, he really just cried to her. That's it. D-.
Sketch 5- Kenan's Grady Wilson sex techniques. One of the worst recurring sketches ever. And Carey plays an eastern techniques expert. This is shaping up to be a historically bad episode. D.
Sketch 6- A Time/Life special of The Worst of Soul Train. This is gunna be a bunch of bad 70s music, but at least it is randomly funny. And in this episoe, that is enough. Like Triangle Sally's only recorded song, I Have a Triangle. Ocean Billy is the Jon Bovi of Billy Ocean. B.
Music- The Black Keys 2 performances were "Howlin' for You" and "Tighten Up."
Weekend Update- Boehner/Pelosi. The Constitution read aloud. Jerry Brown. John Edwards' engagement. And here are Fmr. Speaker Pelosi and Speaker Boehner. Hader's Boehner is horrendous. "Some tea partiers didn't realize they would get chairs, and brought their own lawn furniture." Now Boehner crying. For anything. Huck Finn. Miss New York. And here is second hand news correspondent, Anthony Crispino as played by Moynihan. "Oprah finally got her own TV set, and is now having her friends over like Dr. J and the Wizard of Oz...The military can finally use the alphabet thanks to the repeal of Don't Speak Don't Tell, despite John McClain's objections...John Boehner got new speakers for his house from Snooki's mom, Nancy Pelizzi, because he's having a tea party...New gay governor Andrew Homo...Brett Favre announced he is retarted for good." Mickey Rourke. Polar Bear Club Wedding. Arkansas native Cameron, the red wing blackbird, the lone survivor, portrayed by Samberg. It's the Aflockalypse. Newbie playing a surviving fish, who believes it is the Apocafish. And the two are apparently a gay bird/fish couple. Or it is the Oprahcalypse. Slow old people joke. Jwoww. Very strong WU. A.
Sketch 7- Some sort of carnival. Kenan and Wiig on the Merryville Trolly Ride. Carrey, Mr. Scherbotsky, and Hader as anamatronic characters. They're stuck there, and it is frightening Kenan. The ride is breaking down. Now they come with knives. B+.
Sketch 8- Sudeikis and Pedrad are a couple, along with new girl, seeing a psychic Carrey. He used to be a comedian impressionist. And he still is. With a dead-on Jimmy Stewart. And Billie Holiday. Just a sketch for Carrey to show off his impressions. Now Alan Thicke. Brilliant. Can all Canadians portray eachother? Miss Piggy! And Kermit! Charles Bronson. And Sammy Davis, Jr. A.
Sketch 9- Hader is mcing a concert in NYC. Now A Taste of New York, with Armisen, Carrey, and Wiig as seemingly homeless musicians. Crowd asks for New York, New York and On Broadway. But they perform a depressing song asking people if they can stay with them. And it pretty much keeps going. And going. D.
Final Grade- A weird episode, that got stronger post-WU, with the exception of a horrible end. Yet it made the best of Carrey, so: B.
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Wildcard Round NFL Picks
We start fresh in the playoffs, after finishing 131-106 for the regular season. Picks are straight up, not against the spread. Home teams in CAPS.
Saints over SEAHAWKS
Jets over COLTS
Ravens over CHIEFS
Packers over EAGLES
That's right, I'm going with all 4 road teams. For the record, my pre-postseason picks for the rest of the playoffs:
DIVISIONAL ROUND:
PATRIOTS over Jets
Ravens over STEELERS
Saints over BEARS
Packers over FALCONS
CONFERENCE CHAMPIONSHIP ROUND:
Ravens over PATRIOTS
SAINTS over Packers
SUPER BOWL:
Saints over Ravens
We'll see...
First Post of 2011
It's been a while since I've posted- I'll be back to more regularly posting when I get back to Brooklyn late Sunday.
Happy New Year.
I missed Week 17 of NFL picks after a late flight in from Orland on Saturday before headed to the NMS for the Jets game Sunday morning. Oh well. Playoff picks will be in post immediately after this.
SNL may or may not get a liveblog tomorrow for Jim Carrey and The Black Keys, if it doesn't there will be a retro blog mid-week.
The December sitcom rankings will be up midweek.
Also midweek, a new page featuring the grades for SNL episodes, best and worst sketches each week, etc.
New tonight- a list of links on the right of blogs of people I know and admire. If you have a blog, I know you, and you think I may admire you, give me your link and I just may add you.
Happy New Year.
I missed Week 17 of NFL picks after a late flight in from Orland on Saturday before headed to the NMS for the Jets game Sunday morning. Oh well. Playoff picks will be in post immediately after this.
SNL may or may not get a liveblog tomorrow for Jim Carrey and The Black Keys, if it doesn't there will be a retro blog mid-week.
The December sitcom rankings will be up midweek.
Also midweek, a new page featuring the grades for SNL episodes, best and worst sketches each week, etc.
New tonight- a list of links on the right of blogs of people I know and admire. If you have a blog, I know you, and you think I may admire you, give me your link and I just may add you.
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Week 16 NFL Picks
Week 16 picks below. I went 6-8 last week, and I've started this week 1-1, putting me at 123-100 for the season. For some reason, I randomly missed last week's Broncos/Raiders game, so it does not count. Again, picks are for the win, not against the spread.
Here we go (home teams are in CAPS):
Jets over BEARS
Patriots over BILLS
Ravens over BROWNS
CHIEFS over Titans
RAMS over 49ers
Lions over DOLPHINS
JAGUARS over Redskins
Chargers over BENGALS
Texans over BRONCOS
Colts over RAIDERS
Giants over PACKERS
BUCCANEERS over Seahawks
EAGLES over Vikings
Saints over FALCONS
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