Oscar-winning legend Robert De Niro is hosting SNL for the third time tonight. The first time was 2002, 28 years after his first Oscar win and 11 years after his last nomination. In his monologue he stated he was invited to host way back in season one, in 1975, but he didn't feel comfortable doing live comedy. De Niro next hosted the Christmas episode in 2004, when he famously sang "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" with Kermit the Frog. Tonight, De Niro is promoting "Little Fockers," the triqual to "Meet the Parents" and "Meet the Fockers."
Diddy-Dirty Money is a musical group with Sean "P. Diddy" "Puff Daddy" "Puffy" Combs, and two other people. Under all his aliases, Combs has only been the musical guest once, in the season finale in 1998, as Puff Daddy. I'm guessing he does different songs tonight.
-SNL's Twitter account hinted at a digital short with De Niro and Diddy, I'm guessing they'll be in one other sketch together as well.
-We haven't had a cameo in forever, since the second episode of the season actually. Someone is showing up on Weekend Update. I just don't know who.
See you at 11:30! Also, after the show, check out http://stickfigurenightlive.com/ for a Stick Figure Sketch-by-Sketch recap.
Sketch 1- We start with Armisen in the Oval Office, but it is interrupted by Hader as WikiLeaks' creator Julian Assage, with more embarassing WikiLeaks at WikiLeaks:TMZ. On the TMZ type set. Samberg as the guy with the long blond hair. Armisen as Omar Kadafi and Wiig as his nurse/prostitute. De Niro as Hamed Karzai. Apparantly new girl has replaced Amy Poehler as Hillary. Very funny, and unexpected. A.
Monologue- De Niro talking about New York, how it is his town, and getting every fact wrong. Just saying stuff about other cities. "That's why, in New York we say 'fahgetabout this.'" "It's great to be here, hosting the best show in New York, Friday Night Lights." Clever. B+.
Sketch 2- An ad for a book "The Abacus Conundrum" written by Harlan Kane (De Niro) who has written a lot of books. That was about it. C.
Sketch 3- It looks like... Is it... Yes it is! WOOOOOEEEE What Up With That? Guests: Robert De Niro, Robin Williams, and of course Lindsey Buckingham! A robot and an oompa loompa! De Niro and Williams complaining as the music starts behind them. Now De Niro won't speak. "This is wrong, this is disrespectful." Now Wiig is singing and taking off wigs. Williams is texting someone. Guess what, they didn't have time for Lindsey Buckingham! And it's his birthday (not in real life though)! But DeAndre got him a picture of the two of them, with Buckingham cutoff. I love this sketch. A-.
NEXT WEEK: PAUL RUDD AND SIR PAUL MCCARTNEY!!!
Sketch 4- From the Garden, with Mr. Produce, Tony Secilia (De Niro). His produce is all no good. Samberg is his son Anthony, who did not spray the produce and just questions everything. This just isn't funny, maybe there will be a payoff...It's not looking like it. Nope. Terrible. D-.
Sketch 5- Digital short, looking like Weekend at Bernie's with Samberg and Hader as the guys and De Niro as the boss. It seems like Weekend at Bernie's in 2 minutes, but the guests immediately figure out he's dead and flip out. Now they're in court over it. But his last will and testament is requesting the party and the Hawaiian shirt and the lie! Now that is how you end a sketch with a surprising twist. A-.
Music 1- Diddy-Dirty Money performs "Coming Home."
Weekend Update- WikiLeaks, The Kardashian Kredit Kard, and here's Pedrad, Elliot, and New Girl as Kim, Khloe, and Kourtney respectively. Atheist billboard, Dreidelpalooza, Spiderman Musical and here is Samberg as Spidey. "You know how many guys die every year doing Jersey Boys?" Man marries dog run of jokes. Now Wiig as a 1980s workout video instructor, on Michelle Obama's Let's Move initiative. Seriously. You might think I'm making that up, but I'm really not. That is what we're seeing on NBC at this moment. What the heck is Seth Meyers doing all week that this is the best stuff he can come up with? It isn't like this is based on something real that they're trying to make fun of, its just junk. You have to imagine MadTV is wondering why they were cancelled compared to this. D.
Spinning dreidels on the between commercial look-ins! Happy Chanukah!
Sketch 6- On the set of "Little Fockers," Moynihan playing a kid getting to see the set. He's a big fan. Here's De Niro. The kid is much less interested in him then meeting the Craft services guy or the schedule guy or seeing the camera. This is actually kinda funny. De Niro is taking this offensively. And here is Ben Stiller! The kid likes Stiller's one dramatic movie more than any De Niro hits. Surprisingly amusing. B+.
Sketch 7- Now a Diddy sketch. He's making an album, with the BlizzardMan. Samberg is the BlizzardMan, this may be recurring. Kenan, Wiig, Samberg also involved. He's horrible, but Diddy liked him. Now De Niro is the BlizzardMan's mom. This visual is clearly the sole purpose of this sketch tonight, and it is worth it. But besides that, pretty much nothing. C.
Sketch 8- Commercial look-in, we have a person dressed as a deer. Oh, its Vinny Vedecci, the Italian interview show. Of course, like all guests, De Niro doesn't speak Italian. Is it just me, or has De Niro been playing himself in a whole lot of sketches tonight? Vedecci (Hader) asks De Niro to do his best De Niro impression. Now his son, Moynihan, in the sailor outfit, is drunk. And it's the deer from "Deer Hunter," and he has a watergun. But De Niro throws a pencil at him and it stabs him. And he is dead. De Niro refuses to do his line from "Taxi Driver," so Vedecci starts talking quietly in the opposite direction to get De Niro to ask "you talking to me?" Better than that sketch previously has been. B-.
Sketch 9- Recycled Bosley pubic hair transplant from the Amy Poehler episode. I gave it a B+ then, I won't regrade the same sketch.
Music 2- Diddy-Dirty Money with Swizz Beatz doing their song "Ass on the Floor." Perhaps the funniest part of the episode.
Sketch 10- Samberg and Sudeikis at a bar. De Niro now has long hair and a beard. Samberg asks rhetorically "who do I have to screw to get a drink around here?" Which De Niro answers seriously "Me." So Samberg screws him and gets a beer. Now Sudeikis is doing it. Oh and Stiller was back there too. With long hair and a tiny little beard. Yup, that was the sketch. D.
Sketch 11- This is some sort of very short cartoon. I literally have no idea what just happened, so I'm going into uncharted waters here: Inc.
Overall- Started strong, got weaker, and then just got strange. Overall, highly mediocre. C.