Television Top Tens of 2012: Hottest Actress

Now comes the most serious of lists, the top ten hot actresses of television in 2012. Joining me in objectifying television stars is Wesley Ambrecht who you can follow on Twitter here and read (very occasional) blog posts from here.

Some rules:
-To pick an actress, you have to, at least occasionally, watch the show.

-Every actress picked is of age. A couple play characters still in high school, but they are all actually of age. Sarah Hyland and Jane Levy are both 22. 

-The Katrina Bowden Rule: the actress must appear in at least half of the episodes of the show that aired in 2012. Katrina Bowden was not in 50% of the 2012 30 Rock episodes.

-Some random ineligibles- Wizards of Waverly Place had 1 episode in 2012, but that wasn't enough to grant Selena Gomez eligibility. Meanwhile, while Lyndsy Fonseca was eligible for Nikita, her HIMYM footage is all from years ago, and she was not eligible for that.

-No reality. I get it, the contestants on The Bachelor are all attractive. Who cares?

-The lists are split for half hour shows and hour long shows.

-And one last point- attractiveness is inherently subjective. These lists aren't meant to insult anyone (well, maybe Cloris Leachman). Feel free to post your lists in the comments.

Television Top Tens of 2012: Best Series

Here we are, the final tv top ten list of 2012, best series. The top episodes list is here, and the top new series list is here.

REMINDER: Lists are subjective. I ranked what I like. I don't watch Breaking Bad or Game of Thrones or The Good Wife or Boardwalk Empire or The Vampire Diaries or Downton Abbey. I don't watch any Fox Animated series or anything on Adult Swim. I don't watch any CSI or NCIS or Law & Order or anything that's title starts with Tyler Perry's. I don't watch anything on USA or CW or TNT or Starz. So if a show isn't included, it's probably because I didn't watch it, or because I didn't like it as much as the shows I listed. But feel free to ask away in the comments.

And with that, let's do this. Let's start with Brett Alazraki's Top Ten list.

There. Yell at him about ranking The Newsroom, it didn't quite crack my list. And now here's mine. Honorable Mentions are, again, kinda alphabetical.

I'm not going to breakdown each individually, because at this point I've pretty much written about each of these shows, so just a bunch of bullet points.

-The top four were incredibly close. I finalized this list only a couple days after what I thought was an incredibly strong Homeland finale, but on reflection I may swap it with Mad Men. But it's really close. Each of those four were in the top spot at one point while making this list.

-At the end of the day, while I think it's fair to say Parks and Rec is the better show than Happy Endings because of the world it has built and the deep emotional connections created in that world, there is no show I look forward to watching each week more than Happy Endings.

-The entire top nine are the same shows, albeit in a different order, as my top nine for the 2011-12 television season. I did not look at that list until I had finished this one. There's no good reason why Awake, which was #10 then, is not an honorable mention while Cougar Town, which has also not aired any new episodes since then, is. That's just kinda a mistake.

-Number 11 was Glee, and the two veteran shows that now share a time-slot went back and forth for the 10 slot week to week. Both Glee and Grey's had excellent falls and winters, and Grey's spring wasn't anywhere near as bad as some of Glee, even if it didn't reach the same heights, but that's a coin flip.

-Suburgatory probably gets as high as 7 if not for the Alicia Silverstone episodes. At its best it can be a top 5 show, if it ever reaches that best consistently.

-The top 4 were my clear top tier. New Girl was my clear #5. 30 Rock and Community were my next tier, and Parenthood and Suburgatory after that. Grey's, Glee, The Newsroom, and Cougar Town all received consideration for 10th, along with picking a specific arc or series of episodes from either (or both) The Daily Show and The Colbert Report.

And that wraps this up. I might do some silly top 10s next week, but no promises. Feel free to comment/complain/laud in the comments or on twitter, and have a happy new year!

Television Top Tens of 2012: New Series

The next list up is the top new series. You can see my top episodes list here.

REMINDER: Lists are subjective. I ranked what I like. I don't watch Vegas or Arrow or Dallas or Luck or Anger Management. So if a show isn't included, it's probably because I didn't watch it, or because I didn't like it as much as the shows I listed. But feel free to ask away in the comments.

This list is ranked, along with 5 honorable mentions that are listed alphabetically. (kinda. They're alphabetically in how I listed them, but the first one should actually be 3rd alphabetically. Oh well.) Here we go:

Let's start with the Honorable Mentions and work out way up:

-Last Resort never quite lived up to its potential to me. Every episode had something I enjoyed, but also something that I simply could not care less about.

-Elementary, on the other hand, was not a show I expected to watch past the pilot, but Johnny Lee Miller's and Lucy Liu's charisma and (non-romantic) chemistry elevates this procedural.

-Bunheads had some moments of greatness, but it also frustrated me more often than not. It is one of two shows (Girls is the other) that has grown on me since the season ended, but it mostly just seemed like not-quite-Gilmore Girls.

-Battleground, Hulu's original political series, was a genuinely fascinating look at local politics. The highlight for me was Alison Haislip as Ali (insanely attractive G4 alums was apparently a big thing for me this year). It does not seem like it will be back, but go watch it!

-Through most of the fall, I expected Don't Trust the B---- in Apartment 23 to make my list, and to be fairly high (I believe it was as high as #5) based on the season 2 episodes, but the run of unaired season 1 episodes that closed out the year were bad enough to knock it down the list and eventually off.

And now about the Top 10.

10. Wedding Band- There are better new shows on TV than Wedding Band, in fact all five of my honorable mentions are probably better. But it is nice to have a show that's just enjoyable to watch; that I can not think about at all between airings. It airs in a terrible time slot and I have no idea if it will be renewed, but it is just a pleasant show to watch when there is nothing going on.

9. Revolution- Revolution had a strong pilot, which is not unusual for shows of this ilk. What was impressive about Revolution was that it was able to keep building intriguing story (while becoming TV's only new hit series). It certainly had weak episodes and weak links in the cast, but it was impressive and showed potential.

8. Girls- I appreciated Girls far more than I actually enjoyed it. What Lena Dunham has done is incredibly impressive, and I enjoy the cast, particularly Allison Williams and Zosia Mamet. There were highlights (the previously mentioned Crackcident) but more often I felt I was watching the show hoping something interesting would happen. It grew on me as the series continued, and in reflection since the series aired. However, the overwhelming hype leading into the show was entirely unwarranted.  It was a fine show, and Dunham's work in all facets is admirable, but it is not the tv-changing godsend that many critics made it out to be.

7. Veep- Veep never quite lived up to what I was hoping. It is an all star comedy cast and a top showrunner, but the show was often just okay. That said, it continuously made me laugh, and showed serious potential for the future. I'm excited and curious for season 2.

6. Ben & Kate- I've knocked Ben & Kate plenty on Twitter this fall. I think it is just alright, the cast has potential but it is largely unfulfilled. I don't understand why everyone is in love with it. That said, it is the 2nd highest new sitcom this fall on my list. It's a show I enjoy, but don't care about. I don't have any passion for the show, and I will easily get over its inevitable cancellation. It's a fine show, and #6 of all new shows is a high rating, but it is not the special show many people seem to think it is.

5. Bent- Now Bent, on the other hand, was special, or at least had the potential to be. I wrote plenty about Bent with my paragraph on the finale yesterday, and here. It was an enjoyable, short-lived series, and it's too bad we cannot see where it would have gone.

4. Scandal- I like political shows and I like Shonda Rhimes shows, so Scandal was always going to be a show I enjoyed. But the second season, in particular, has been tremendous television, often one of my favorite dramas to watch any given week this fall. Kerry Washington is absolutely spectacular (and award-worthy) as Olivia Pope, and the rest of the ensemble (especially Bellamy Young) has stepped it up in season two. While the Quinn Perkins conspiracy was alright, the voting machine scandal and the assassination attempt have lifted this show to another gear.

3. Awake- Kyle Killen is excellent. Jason Isaacs is excellent. Cherry Jones, BD Wong, Steve Harris, all excellent. Wilmer Valderrama, well, he dated Lindsay Lohan once, so good for him. Awake was never going to be a hit series, but it got to last a full season. There were ups and downs, but this show did the best job I had ever seen in combining a high concept serial storyline with a straight police procedural. I genuinely have no idea what the hell season 2 would have been, and perhaps the series is better off as a one-and-done, but that one season was terrific.

2. Go On- Go On is what NBC wishes Community was, and while it isn't Community (and as much as I love Community, I don't think we need 2 of them) it's a fun show on its own. Matthew Perry is doing what he does, and I'm a fan of that. The supporting cast is a lot of fun, and given how many of them there are (between the massive group and the radio station), it's impressive how well developed some of these characters have been. Laura Benanti and Allison Miller, both of whom survived hour-long flops from last season (The Playboy Club and Terra Nova respectively) have been surprising highlights. While it's a shame that Go On has taken potential viewers away from New Girl and Happy Endings, the show has earned them in their own right.

1. The Newsroom- I know. I know you hated The Newsroom. I know you found it sexist and pompous and arrogant. I know you didn't like them going back slightly in history and taking credits for other people's news breaks. I know you didn't like how they covered the Koch Brothers or Gabby Giffords or Osama bin Laden or gay marriage. I know you hated The Newsroom.

I just don't give a fuck. 

I loved The Newsroom. I love Aaron Sorkin. I even liked Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip. See? I own Studio 60 and The West Wing on DVD, and had Sports Night prior to losing it to the hurricane (actually the condition of my West Wing DVDs is also unclear). So I'm all in on Sorkin. And The Newsroom? It was excellent Sorkin. You say Sorkin can't write women? You're ignoring Olivia Munn's Sloan Sabbath, one of the best new characters on TV this year. You think no woman would be stupid enough to accidentally send a mass e-mail? One of the cast members for the show accidentally tweeted out a topless photo. I get complaints about stealing credit for scoop, and if the reporters who actually broke these stories have an issue with this, I get that. But for fans? This isn't a retelling of what happened, it's an alternate universe. Things are going to be different, and our central characters are going to get these stories. The show isn't flawless, but almost nothing is (The West Wing certainly was not. Even in the Sorkin years, Mandy existed and Zoey was kidnapped). But this was far and away the best new series of 2012.

Up next, Best Series

Television Top Tens of 2012: Episodes

It is that time of the year. The time for lists.

I have traditionally done 4 television lists biannually- once at the end of the TV season, and once at the end of the year. This year, I decided to cut the Top 10 Worst Series list. It just wasn't feasible to compare ¡Rob!, Work It, Are You There, Chelsea?, Ben and Kate, I Hate My Teenage Daughter, and Anger Management.

Okay, I don't hate Ben and Kate that much.

That leaves three lists that I actually did. You're also getting two lists from my friend, and occasional blog contributor Brett Alazraki. First up is episodes.

REMINDER: Lists are subjective. I ranked what I like. I don't watch Breaking Bad or Game of Thrones or The Good Wife or Boardwalk Empire or The Vampire Diaries or Downton Abbey or Brickleberry. So if a show isn't included, it's probably because I didn't watch it, or because I didn't like it as much as the shows I listed. But feel free to ask away in the comments.

To start with the episodes list, I made a massive list of episodes I had in consideration. Here are the Honorable Mentions, with the episodes that were closer to making the list highlighted in yellow. These are listed in alphabetical order by series. I also limited my actual Top 10 to one episode per series, so some of these may actually be among my 10 favorite episodes of the year (okay, "Win, Lose, or Draw" definitely is).

Some notes on those:

-"At the Codfish Ball" was the Mad Men episode I chose in my end-of-season list, but on rewatch I preferred a different episode.

-I wasn't a huge fan of girls, but the Shoshana plot in "Welcome to Bushwick a.k.a. The Crackcident" was phenomenal, as I wrote about here.

-The Late Night with Jimmy Fallon and Late Show with David Letterman episodes are the post-Hurricane Sandy episodes that went on without a studio audience.

-The Smash pilot was actually good. You probably even liked it. Don't blame it for what came after.

-Meghan Ory is my absolute favorite part of Once Upon a Time, and the two Ruby-centric episodes have been two of my favorites.

-I finished this list a couple of weeks ago, but HIMYM's winter finale 2-parter would have also made this list.

-Happy Endings' "The Kerkovich Way" and 30 Rock's "Leap Day Williams" were my last two cuts. Those two shows are two of my favorite comedies (we'll get there) but are more about individual moments and jokes than full episodes (often the B or C storylines are completely forgettable). That said, if I didn't conform to the norm and did a Top 12 (for 2012!) they would be on there.

Which brings us to the actual Top 10. Unlike my series lists, I did not rank these. It was just too much.

Let's take these in the order they're listed.

-Bent- "Tile Date": This was the season (and series) finale for Bent, NBC's short lived (six episodes in three weeks!), star-filled (well, tv-wise at least) sitcom. This episode was the highlight, and left me wanting more episodes.

-Community- "Curriculum Unavailable": The show's second faux clip show wasn't as shocking as its first, but it was still brilliant in its own right. The insane asylum flashback, in particular, was a series highlight.

-Cougar Town- "A One Story Town": I got to see this episode at an advance screening (c'mon that made me sound cool), so crowd mentality may have helped my enjoyment of this episode. Yet to me it was one of the most brilliantly constructed episodes of television I have ever seen. You get the hints from the beginning- Bobby needs to get to the kiss, the crab festival, and The Worthless Peons singing Disney songs- that are all brought together for the "Kiss the Girl" sequence. And then there's the Scrubs reunion.

-Glee- "Goodbye": A funny thing happened on the way to Glee season 4- the show remembered it could be good. The season 3 finale packed an emotional punch as a farewell (at least as series regulars in Lima) to a number of characters, and despite my complete lack of shipper-ness, the Rachel/Finn breakup was beautifully done.

-Homeland- "Q&A": This was one of my top 3 episodes of the year. The entire series built up to the Carrie interrogation of Brody, and the two defending Emmy winners earned their next nominations in that scene.

-Louie- "Late Show" Parts 1-3: I don't regularly watch Louie, but one day this fall I decided to watch a bunch of the most popular episodes. This was the arc that sold me on the series. This arc was funny, smart, and moving, and while I may never watch the show regularly, arcs like this will make me keep coming back.

-Mad Men- "Signal 30": The Campbells' dinner party was one of my favorite scenes of the year (Annie Edison AND Alex Mack!) plus Lane Pryce knocking out Pete. But really, there are four or five episodes of Mad Men you could pick this year.

-New Girl- "Fancyman" Parts 1&2: This two-parter was the start of the turnaround for New Girl. Dylan McDermott's Dermot Mulroney's eponymous fancyman brought out new elements in both Jess and Nick, and the show became all the better for it.

-Parks and Recreation- "The Debate": Another of my top 3 episodes of the year. This episode highlighted what makes Parks what it is. There was plenty of the insane comedy- the non-Leslie candidates in the debate (Buddy Garrity!) and Andy's movie reenactment. And there was plenty of the sweet- Leslie's response to Bobby's threat, and Ron stealing the cable.

-Suburgatory- "The Wishbone": And my third of my top 3 episodes. This is fairly easily the best episode of Suburgatory. While the show is certainly inconsistent, this episode showed that, when the series is at its best, it can be the best series on television. The combination of sweet sincerity and comedic extremes is, when perfected, the best thing television can bring, and "The Wishbone" perfected this.

And here are Brett's Top Ten Episodes. He did rank them. 

Up next, New Series...

Some Lists of Some Things

Sorry about the few days off. And then the half post. Busy becoming a law student and getting better internet access.

Today everything I say will be in lists. Because I can.

Top Five Things I Think About Bob's Discount Furniture, After I Ordered Furniture From Them In June to be Delivered Friday August 13th, They Failed to Show Up Friday August 13th, They Showed Up 5 Hours Late on Tuesday August 17th, and Only Brought My Bed and Night Stand Because the "Desk was Damaged" and the "Forgot I Ordered a Dresser," and Then My Father Had to Pick Up the Desk and Dresser from the Show Room and Drive Them to Brooklyn, Because They Weren't Sure When or If They'd Be Able to Deliver:

(spoiler alert: this list is gunna be negative against Bob's)

5. Seriously, this is what we got to replace Toys R Us in Freeport? Toys R Us would've done a better job delivering furniture.

4. When you called to confirm delivery on Monday, you couldn't bother to let me know that I was only getting half of my order? Even if you're just going out to dinner and the waiter brings one person's dish, he always says "your's will be out in a few minutes."

3. The fact (and let's call it Fun Fact #10) that Bob's Discount Furniture is an official partner of the New York Mets now makes total and complete sense.

2. I actually spent Tuesday evening hoping Ashton Kutcher would pop out and tell me I've been punked. It did not happen.

1. They gave me a $100 gift card for messing up. Just think about the assumption being made when you give someone who's order you completely and totally fucked up a $100 gift card.

Top Seven Things I'm Looking Forward to/Hoping to/Interested to See on the (many) TV Shows I Watch This Season (In Bergeronian Order):

1. How I Met Your Mother: We know there are major developments this season. We know this season starts off with a SPOILER ALERT. And we know that (and are very happy that) Rachel Bilson is back for another episode. This leads me to believe we may actually learn who the mother is this season. I go back and forth on this issue. On one hand, the show is called How I MET Your Mother, not How I Got to Know Your Mother. By introducing the Mother, it essentially ends the series. On the other hand, the show was mediocre to poor with few exceptions last season (the 100th Ep featuring Bilson, Tim Gunn, Stacy Keibler, and Barney's Suit Song being the most notable exception). Adding the mother would be the kind of shake up that could make the show more enjoyable, even if it brings about an earlier expiration date. We also know we're seeing more Robin Sparkles this season, so thats a positive no matter what else happens.

2. Big Bang Theory- Leonard and Penny broke up at the end of last season. There's a decent chance if they're still broken up at the end of this season, it could be my last season. Also while Jim Parsons is excellent at playing Sheldon as he does, the character has been the same for the entire series. There needs to be changes. I think there will be with a (potential?) love interest this season, but we'll see...

3. Community and Modern Family- It will be interesting to see if either (or both) of these shows suffer from a sophomore slump. I could have included Glee here too (see #6), but between the half season split and the first season ending more than a calendar year after it began, it does not seem like a second year show. Community put itself in an interesting position with the final couple episodes, having Jeff (SPOILER ALERT) first sleep with Brita, then the choice between Brita and Prof. Slater (who I loved in Grey's Anatomy and again on this show), and finally having him choose Annie. I am on Team Annie (along with being on the same team as Starburns, Team CoCo), Annie was probably my favorite character, aside from Abed, throughout the season. I haven't seen any spoilers on where they're going from here, so it will be interesting to see if Jeff and Annie are actually together when the season begins. My worry is this show didn't really grow outside of this one storyline last season, so a second season could become stale very quickly (much like Chevy Chase was by like the 3rd episode).

Modern Family showed more of a willingness than Community last season to shine the spotlight during various episodes on various characters. Hopefully they continue to do this in the 2nd season, especially involving the children some more. I think Modern Family is in less danger of falling into a sophomore slump, but they are in some danger (as is Community and Glee) of over-using guest stars, and therefore not showing enough of the actual stars.

4. The Office- There is no show this season, or perhaps in modern tv history, that is facing a more curious season than The Office is facing this season. Two Things are Known: Fun Fact #11: Steve Carrell is leaving after this season. Fun Fact #12: The show is continuing past this season. There will be two questions that span the entire season- the minor question: What will happen between Michael and Holly? And the major question: Who will replace Michael as the boss? To me the second question is the most important. Going character by character- We've already seen Jim and Ryan as the boss, so lets rule them out. Pam hasn't put in the time in sales yet, so another no. Andy's personality is too questionable. Erin is too new and fresh. Stanley wouldn't want the job if it was offered to him. Kevin's too dumb, Creed too old. It's unlikely an accountant would become manager, so let's rule out Angela and Oscar also. This leaves Dwight, Meredith, Kelly, Toby, Darryl, Phyllis, or an outsider. I think they should go with Kelly. They set it up last season with the minority leadership training. Her relationship with Erin would take a whole new twist with Erin working for her, not to mention her relationship with Ryan. This is what I hope to see. It is not what I expect. I expect it will be an outsider, and quite possibly Portia de Rossi, as it was recently rumored to be a former Arrested Development star. I would be very content with this.

5. 30 Rock- Like Carrell, Alec Baldwin has announced he plans to leave. Unlike Carrell a) Baldwin still has one more season after this, and b) Baldwin is not the star of the show. I think the show can pretty easily survive without him. My question about 30 Rock is if they will bring back Josh. He suddenly, and for no particular reason, went to Mandyville a couple years ago. I also want to see how much of a regular Elizabeth Banks becomes. She's said she won't do TV full time at this point, but I do help the pregnancy leads to some consistant appearences. Big fan. If she wasn't on the list the other day, add her. Anyone who can simultaneously come out with one movie where she is a title character in Zach and Miri Make a Porno, and one where she plays Laura Bush, plus be funny on Twitter (see the third list) is awesome in my book.

6. Glee- I will do a more thorough look at Glee on the eve of the season premiere, but what I am looking forward to is probably the same thing many of you are looking forward to, but not for the same reason. I think Britney Spears is fine, the first concert I went to was the Slave 4 U tour (in a suite, at MSG, opened by O-Town (Fun Fact #13- I watched the entire first season of Making the Band. Really a good idea for a show)), and she certainly is entertaining. But I'm most exciting about an episode featuring Heather Morris, aka Brittany. She was by far my favorite character last season. I'd look forward to her 1-2 lines an episode more than anything else. When the first announced she was being promoted to full time I was very excited, and when they revealed she'd be the star of an episode it only got better. This episode, good or bad, could very well be what defines Season 2 Part 1.

7. Grey's Anatomy- Like Glee, I will likely devote a post to Grey's and Private Practice before their premieres. While the most interesting thing on Grey's will be coping with the shootings (and on PP the death of Dell), I'm most interested in seeing how it affects Jackson and April (first and third from left), and their relationships with the others, especially after the deaths of Charlie and Reed (second and fourth). Obviously Jackson and Cristina have some chemistry, and Meredith and April forged a relationship during the finale. It will be interesting to see where things for these two new full timers go.

Top Ten Non-Sports People You Should (and I Do) Follow (again in Bergeronian Order):

1. @Pres_Bartlet and the rest of The West Wing Crew

2. @arnettwill Arrested Development's (and Amy Poehler's) Will Arnett

3. @FakeAPStylebook Exactly what it sounds like. A parody of the AP Stylebook

4. @ElizabethBanks See section labeled 30 Rock

5. @IAmKellyFierce See section labeled The Office

6. @IAmErinHannon and @veRY_ANgelic for their interactions with #5

7. @ConanOBrien as if there is anyone who isn't following him already.

8. @chucktodd MSNBC's Chuck Todd, my favorite politico to follow.

9. @sethmeyers21 Seth Meyers, who is funnier on Twitter than when actually writing SNL

10. @McCainBlogette Meghan McCain, who is legitimately accepting of other's political views.

Well that does it for today. Sorry this post took so long. Actual law school starts tomorrow! Peace.