Television Top Tens of 2012: Episodes

It is that time of the year. The time for lists.

I have traditionally done 4 television lists biannually- once at the end of the TV season, and once at the end of the year. This year, I decided to cut the Top 10 Worst Series list. It just wasn't feasible to compare ¡Rob!, Work It, Are You There, Chelsea?, Ben and Kate, I Hate My Teenage Daughter, and Anger Management.

Okay, I don't hate Ben and Kate that much.

That leaves three lists that I actually did. You're also getting two lists from my friend, and occasional blog contributor Brett Alazraki. First up is episodes.

REMINDER: Lists are subjective. I ranked what I like. I don't watch Breaking Bad or Game of Thrones or The Good Wife or Boardwalk Empire or The Vampire Diaries or Downton Abbey or Brickleberry. So if a show isn't included, it's probably because I didn't watch it, or because I didn't like it as much as the shows I listed. But feel free to ask away in the comments.

To start with the episodes list, I made a massive list of episodes I had in consideration. Here are the Honorable Mentions, with the episodes that were closer to making the list highlighted in yellow. These are listed in alphabetical order by series. I also limited my actual Top 10 to one episode per series, so some of these may actually be among my 10 favorite episodes of the year (okay, "Win, Lose, or Draw" definitely is).

Some notes on those:

-"At the Codfish Ball" was the Mad Men episode I chose in my end-of-season list, but on rewatch I preferred a different episode.

-I wasn't a huge fan of girls, but the Shoshana plot in "Welcome to Bushwick a.k.a. The Crackcident" was phenomenal, as I wrote about here.

-The Late Night with Jimmy Fallon and Late Show with David Letterman episodes are the post-Hurricane Sandy episodes that went on without a studio audience.

-The Smash pilot was actually good. You probably even liked it. Don't blame it for what came after.

-Meghan Ory is my absolute favorite part of Once Upon a Time, and the two Ruby-centric episodes have been two of my favorites.

-I finished this list a couple of weeks ago, but HIMYM's winter finale 2-parter would have also made this list.

-Happy Endings' "The Kerkovich Way" and 30 Rock's "Leap Day Williams" were my last two cuts. Those two shows are two of my favorite comedies (we'll get there) but are more about individual moments and jokes than full episodes (often the B or C storylines are completely forgettable). That said, if I didn't conform to the norm and did a Top 12 (for 2012!) they would be on there.

Which brings us to the actual Top 10. Unlike my series lists, I did not rank these. It was just too much.

Let's take these in the order they're listed.

-Bent- "Tile Date": This was the season (and series) finale for Bent, NBC's short lived (six episodes in three weeks!), star-filled (well, tv-wise at least) sitcom. This episode was the highlight, and left me wanting more episodes.

-Community- "Curriculum Unavailable": The show's second faux clip show wasn't as shocking as its first, but it was still brilliant in its own right. The insane asylum flashback, in particular, was a series highlight.

-Cougar Town- "A One Story Town": I got to see this episode at an advance screening (c'mon that made me sound cool), so crowd mentality may have helped my enjoyment of this episode. Yet to me it was one of the most brilliantly constructed episodes of television I have ever seen. You get the hints from the beginning- Bobby needs to get to the kiss, the crab festival, and The Worthless Peons singing Disney songs- that are all brought together for the "Kiss the Girl" sequence. And then there's the Scrubs reunion.

-Glee- "Goodbye": A funny thing happened on the way to Glee season 4- the show remembered it could be good. The season 3 finale packed an emotional punch as a farewell (at least as series regulars in Lima) to a number of characters, and despite my complete lack of shipper-ness, the Rachel/Finn breakup was beautifully done.

-Homeland- "Q&A": This was one of my top 3 episodes of the year. The entire series built up to the Carrie interrogation of Brody, and the two defending Emmy winners earned their next nominations in that scene.

-Louie- "Late Show" Parts 1-3: I don't regularly watch Louie, but one day this fall I decided to watch a bunch of the most popular episodes. This was the arc that sold me on the series. This arc was funny, smart, and moving, and while I may never watch the show regularly, arcs like this will make me keep coming back.

-Mad Men- "Signal 30": The Campbells' dinner party was one of my favorite scenes of the year (Annie Edison AND Alex Mack!) plus Lane Pryce knocking out Pete. But really, there are four or five episodes of Mad Men you could pick this year.

-New Girl- "Fancyman" Parts 1&2: This two-parter was the start of the turnaround for New Girl. Dylan McDermott's Dermot Mulroney's eponymous fancyman brought out new elements in both Jess and Nick, and the show became all the better for it.

-Parks and Recreation- "The Debate": Another of my top 3 episodes of the year. This episode highlighted what makes Parks what it is. There was plenty of the insane comedy- the non-Leslie candidates in the debate (Buddy Garrity!) and Andy's movie reenactment. And there was plenty of the sweet- Leslie's response to Bobby's threat, and Ron stealing the cable.

-Suburgatory- "The Wishbone": And my third of my top 3 episodes. This is fairly easily the best episode of Suburgatory. While the show is certainly inconsistent, this episode showed that, when the series is at its best, it can be the best series on television. The combination of sweet sincerity and comedic extremes is, when perfected, the best thing television can bring, and "The Wishbone" perfected this.

And here are Brett's Top Ten Episodes. He did rank them. 

Up next, New Series...

In Defense of Glee's Winter Finale

WARNING: This might spoil anything and everything that has ever happened in Glee, as well as some things from Gilmore Girls, Grey's Anatomy, The West Wing, and Brothers & Sisters. Consider yourself warned. Because you were probably planning on catching up on Brothers & Sisters this weekend.

Glee isn't good.

This isn't news. Most of the third season has sucked. Most of the second season sucked. If we're being honest with ourselves, a good deal of the first season sucked. Basically ever since we found out that Tina was faking her stutter, Glee stopped being the show that the early airing pilot showed the potential of, and started being a show for overdrama, caricatures, iTunes sales, Nazi hunters, ginger supremacists, single-person marriages, attempted baby theft, crazy titled pamphlets, an overnight Broadway show about April Rhodes, silly celebrity cameos for competition judging, crack house field trips, magic legs, Gwyneth Paltrow singing Cee Lo Green, and spiked slushies. Also that Rocky Horror Picture Show episode happened. And Tina stopped getting any lines. For all we know, she's stuttering again.

And Glee had more of that random shit last night. Blaine rapping,  Sue's random pregnancy, the vampire judge, the out-of-nowhere reemergence of The Troubletones, and Jeff Goldblum and Brian Stokes Mitchell brainstorming absurd ways out of Rachel and Finn's wedding. That stuff was awful. That's not what I'm defending.

So Glee is not usually very good. One area where that is not true is sexuality. Whether with the initial Kurt coming out story (remember when Mercedes had a crush on him?), Kurt and his father, the Karofsky bullying arc, or the Santana/Brittany stuff, sexuality storylines have been one of Glee's strong points. Even the fact that Rachel has 2 dads is treated with stereotypes, but also as no big deal.

The (spoiler) Karofsky suicide story last night was pretty spot on. I'm not defending that either. It doesn't need defending. There is no need to. Even the reviews harshest on last night's episode were pleased with the first 15 minutes or so of last night's episode.

No, what I want to defend is the twist. The last few minutes. The (SERIOUSLY, THIS IS THE SPOILER) truck that literally drove right into Quinn Fabray as she texted Rachel.

Quinn was an important character to some of the early arcs of Glee. She was Rachel's rival, Finn's girlfriend, Puck's baby mama, and the reason Santana and Brittany are in the Glee club. She was essential to season one.

Quinn was not essential to season two. She got engaged to Sam at one point. She ran for prom queen against Lauren Zizes and we learned she had some weird backstory where she was fat which never came up again. She sang that awful version of "Afternoon Delight" with John Stamos and Emma. Don't these people watch Arrested Development?

This season, Quinn has been a disaster. Her major story arc involved her plans to mess with Shelby's apartment, call child protective services, and attempt to steal her baby. Seriously. That's a thing that happened. Over several episodes.

Then Quinn decided to apply to Yale.

Then Quinn got into Yale. Early decision.

From the pilot of Gilmore Girls, Rory Gilmore expresses her desire to attend Harvard. It's what sets the series in motion. It's the first sentence of the second paragraph of her Wikipedia bio. When Rory got into Harvard and Yale and decided to go to Yale, it was based on long-built characterization.

When Quinn applied to and was admitted to Yale, it was just a thing that happened.

Quinn serves no purpose anymore in Glee. And Diana Agron is a good enough actress where she deserves to get out of this show if she's just going to hang around as a 5th or 6th female character and get a storyline once a season, when Sugar or Becky aren't available.

They could send her to Yale. She could pop up for cameos once in a while, but no longer be part of the show. It wouldn't affect anyone else at all.

Or they could kill her.

In the season five finale of Grey's Anatomy, they killed off George O'Malley. He wasn't sick, in fact another character with supposedly incurable cancer looked like she would bite the dust in that episode, but she survived. In the first half of the season five finale, George was fine. At the halfway mark he made a major career decision (joining the Army). Then he got hit by a bus. And that was T.R. Knight's last appearance on the show.

George had served his role. He was essential in the storylines of Meredith, Izzy, Callie, Bailey, and Lexie. They could have sent him off to the military and let Knight return if he ever wanted to. But it would not move the story forward for the other characters at all.

Grey's best echoes the opportunity Glee now has. They had set up the potential other death, but did the surprising thing instead. And now it sets things up.

There is not a single character who would not be affected by Quinn's death. Rachel's guilt. Finn and Sam thinking about what could have been. Brittany and Santana losing their best friend. Puck, losing his ex, telling Shelby and eventually Beth. Sue, reacting to the death of one of her prize Cheerios just a year after losing her sister.

The West Wing killed off Mrs. Landingham out of nowhere (she had just bought her first car and got into a car accident) and it changed President Bartlet and Charlie for the rest of the series. While Brothers & Sisters took a huge downstep (and then was canceled) after killing off Rob Lowe's Senator McCallister, its because they did it the wrong way. Instead of letting the audience feel the fallout and see the characters respond to losing someone in their family, they skipped to a calender year after the crash.

So the fact that Quinn's accident is out of nowhere is not a problem. Introducing a sudden, shocking scenario may actually let Glee finally have some interesting storylines again. They just have to follow through, and kill Quinn Fabray.

The TV Musical Part II: Covers

This is part two of a two part post on musical tv moments/episodes. Today we focus on TV shows featuring covers of songs in advance of tonight's Grey's Anatomy's musical episode, "Song Beneath the Song." Two weeks ago we looked at TV performances of original songs in advance of the Glee episode "Original Song." 

Grey's Anatomy has been notable for popularizing several songs, most notably The Fray's "How to Save a Life" and Snow Patrol's "Chasing Cars." Tonight, the show ventures into performing many of the songs that have appeared on the show, including those two.

While Grey's has the talent for musical performances (Sara Ramirez won a Tony award for her performance in Spamalot in 2005 while Chandra Wilson starred on Broadway in Chicago a few years ago), the show does not naturally lend itself to Glee-like production numbers. It will be interesting to see what direction they take this in.

It is certainly not the first time a scripted tv series has had its stars break out into well known songs. While Glee does this on a week to week basis, several other shows have featured out-of-character musical numbers from their stars.

While my intention was to include clips of some of my favorites as I did two weeks ago, most of these videos are not available online due to copyright issues, so we are limited to a list:

The Office has done two cast numbers of popular songs, with Kevin leading the cast in a rendition of Kenny Rogers' "The Gambler" in "Beach Day," and Andy leading the cast in Macy Gray's "I Try" in "Andy's Play."

The cast of 30 Rock performed a slightly altered version of "Midnight Train to Georgia" in "Episode 210," complete with a cameo from Gladys Knight herself.

The finale of Will & Grace included a somewhat odd duet of the classic "Unforgettable" from Karen and Jack.

Finally, before Emma was blinded by the catchy tune of the Starland Vocal Band's "Afternoon Delight" on Glee earlier this month, Arrested Development played the same joke in the episode "Afternoon Delight," featuring dueling performances by Michael and Maebe and Lindsay and George Michael.

What other musical performances would you add?

The TV Musical Part I: Original Songs

This is part one of a two part post on musical tv moments/episodes. Today we focus on TV shows featuring original songs in advance of tonight's aptly named Glee episode, "Original Song." On Thursday, March 31 we will look at TV performances of well known songs in anticipation of Grey's Anatomy's musical episode, "Song Beneath the Song."

Through its first 37 episodes, Glee featured no original songs, other than a brief number by Rachel about her headband a few weeks back. That ends tonight. Three original songs, "Get it Right," "Loser Like Me," and "Hell to the No," will be performed in tonight's episode. The first two songs have been released, although in full disclosure, as suggested by a handful of critics (most notably Myles McNutt), I have yet to listen to the songs in order to be able to experience them like the judges and Kurt and Blaine do tonight.

But Glee is not the first show to delve into the world of original song writing. Below are some of my favorites...

How I Met Your Mother has penned six original songs since then, but the first one was by far the best. Pehaps it was the element of surprise, or the constant Canadian references, or the rap break, or the robot, but it is hard to top "Let's Go to the Mall"

The lyrics of the Friends hit "Smelly Cat" may not have been quite as clever, but the show got as much out of the song as possible over the course of the series.

Scrubs went above and beyond with a full-out musical episode. Here is the big opening production number:



Finally, Community, which made a joke in the famous Paintball episode about Glee's lack of original songs, had a couple songs of its own, including the catchy "Getting Rid of Britta"

What other TV original songs would you consider hits?

The Rocky Horror Picture Post

Rocky Horror continuously pops up in my life.

In my first Thespian Revue we did Time Warp, where I had my first solo line in a Revue.

In my second Thespian Revue we did Dammit Janet* and the senior number was Floor Show.

*It was actually Darnit Janet thanks to some special censorship.

In college I joined a theater company named for a lyric in Rocky Horror "Forbidden Planet." The company did RHPS every year.

So I know my Rocky Horror. I went to a midnight showing in Manhattan. I saw it once in Long Island (with co-thespians Graig Churchill and Elisa Weiss in it) and 10 times at GW (twice in 06, thrice in 07, twice in 08, once in 09). I own the 25th Anniversary DVD, and have watched it with the prerecorded call lines. I even tried watching Shock Treatment, the sequel once. But it was more Grease 2 than Austin Powers 2 (the 2nd most successful sequel of all time compared to the original, trailing only Terminator 2), so I stopped watching.

I know calllines. I know the classic ones, I know the ones people created at GW, I know the nondirty ones they did at the Long Island performance, I know the website that lists them all. I've delivered some good ones. I've made a Frank almost break character. I've delivered one so obscure that only 2 rows of the audience got it, but those who got it loved it.

I like Rocky Horror. It means a lot to me. I've thought about not being able to see it at GW this year, and I've decided I'll watch the dvd this weekend.

All that said, I think Glee doing a Rocky Horror episode will either be the greatest episode of all time, or the worst. Last year they only did 2 themed shows, and the Gaga show only had 2 Gaga songs. This year, this will already be #2, and at least one more is locked in for post-SuperBowl. And RHPS is not that widespread among the Glee fanbase. It could be great, but I don't think it will.

Quick Hits

Some random stuff I've been thinking the past few days. Nothing more than a paragraph long:

-The September sitcom rankings will probably not be out until Sunday. At this point, Better With You is the only new show I see getting a 2nd season, although Running Wilde improved massively from episode 1 to 2, and $#*! My Dad Says and Outsourced both have their 2nd eps tonight. And I don't think Outsourced was anywhere near as offensive as some critics said beforehand.

-The Glee Britney/Brittany episode was one of the best episodes of the series. Spears was used perfectly- minimally and for humor. Heather Morris can actually sing! After not singing the entire first season (including some numbers where she was the only one in New Directions not to have a solo line). Learning her full name is Brittany S. Pierce was a great twist, and the music videos were recreated spot on. John Stamos was introduced well, and I'm excited for him to get some singing in, presumably in duet form with Mr. Shuster. Just an overall great episode.

-One report has the Knicks possible completing a trade for Carmelo Anthony as early as tonight, after last week's trade with the Nets fell through. Over the past couple of days my mind has changed on this. Danillo Gallinari and Anthony Randolph may become stars. But Carmelo Anthony is already a top 10 NBA player. The past 20 years, only 1 team (the 2004 Detroit Pistons) have won a championship without 2 legit stars. The Lakers have Kobe and Gasol, the Celtics Big 3, the Spurs had any combination of Duncan/Parker, Duncan/Ginobili, and Duncan/Robinson, the Heat had Wade and Shaq, the first Lakers 3peat had Shaq and Kobe, the Bulls had Jordan and Pippen, and the Rockets had Hakeem and Drexler. Right now the Lakers still have Kobe and Gasol (with Odom and Artest as a nice 3/4), the Heat have Bosh and Wade, the Celtics have Rondo and whoever is hot from Garnett/Allen/Pierce, the Mavs have Kidd and Dirk, the Bulls have Rose and Boozer, the Jazz have DWill and Jefferson, the Spurs still have Duncan, Ginobili, and Parker, the Magic have Dwight Howard and Lewis/Vince. The Knicks have Amare and...a bunch of role players. I'd much rather hold on to one of the Randolph or Gallo in a trade for Melo (and of the 2, I'd prefer Gallo. He's been built up at MSG the past 2 years, while Randolph would essentially be Lee-for-Melo), but if Denver would do the trade for those 2 and Eddie Curry, and  either Wilson Chandler or Toney Douglas. A lineup of Turiaf/Amare/Melo/Azubuke/Felton could definitely be a playoff team, with either Chandler or Douglas off the bench, along with the big Russian, Roger Mason, and Bill Walker. So I'm hesitant. But I'd do it.

Isn't She Lucky, This Hollywood Girl?

It's Britney Spears Night at William McKinley High School in Lima, Ohio.

And while I personally, am looking forward to the Brittany part of "Britney/Brittany" (which I may be watching on Hulu tomorrow instead, thanks Time Warner), the highlight is of course the 28 year old Ms. Spears, Alexander, Spears, Federline, Spears. And if Glee can do a Britney episode, well I can do a Britney post.

My Top Twenty Favorite Britney Spears Songs:

20. Gimme More

19. Boys

18. Overprotected

17. Don't Let Me Be the Last to Know

16. From the Bottom of My Broken Heart

15. I Love Rock 'n' Roll*

14. Womanizer

13. Me Against the Music

12. Piece of Me

11. I'm Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman

10. If U Seek Amy

9. I'm a Slave 4 U

8. 3

7. Oops!...I Did It Again

6. Everytime

5. Toxic

4. (You Drive Me) Crazy

3. ...Baby One More Time

2. Sometimes

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1. Lucky

Yes, I'm a sucker for the old, teenage Britney stuff. The top 7 are all from her first few albums.

*I know Rock 'n' Roll is a cover, and far inferior to the Joan Jett version**, but still it is pretty good.

**Fun Fact #24- The Joan Jett version itself was a cover. The song was originally released by a group named The Arrows.

Of course this isn't Britney's first TV cameo. In 1999, Spears played herself on an episode of Sabrina the Teenage Witch.

In 2006 Britney played Jack McFarland's Southern, Conservative, Christian cohost of his talk show on a gay television

                      network on Will and Grace.

And in 2008, Britney appeared in two episodes of How I Met Your Mother, as Stella's (Ted's one-time fiancee and dermatologist) assistant who was in love with Ted. In the second episode, while Barney fought to win back Ted's friendship, he slept with her and mock-proposed to her, the mock part of which she did not pick up on.

Oh yeah, and she had that reality show with ex-husband Kevin Federline. That worked out as well as it worked for Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey. Or John and Kate Gosselin. Or Liza Minelli and David Gest. Or the Hogans. Or Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt. Or Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown. Hey Celebrities! Don't do reality TV with your spouse!

But of course, that wasn't Britney's only acting gig. No, who could forget Crossroads, the 2002 film starring, wait for this, Spears, SNL's Dan Aykroyd, Sex and the City's Kim Cattrall, Avatar's Zoe Saldana, and Dodgeball's (among many others) Justin Long. Oh, and the writing? Shonda Rhimes. Yeah, the one who created Grey's Anatomy. Yup. Crossroads. And what did they get with all that talent?

"I went to Crossroads expecting a glitzy bimbofest and got the bimbos but not the fest." -Roger Ebert

But let's be fair to Britney. Crossroads is no worse than the 4th worst movie in the 2000s starring a late 90s/early 00s attractive female pop star:

3. From Justin to Kelly (2003)- Just an absolutely dreadful idea. Who possibly thought this was a smart decision? How did the conversation go? "You know those 2 kids who have absolutely no entertainment industry experience other than the 12 weeks we've been airing them on national tv? Let's make them make a movie!" To be fair, co-star Anika Noni Rose recovered with Dreamgirls.

2. Glitter (2001)- Mariah Carey is very, very good looking. Mariah Carey has an incredible voice, one of the top couple of her era. But Mariah Carey cannot act. Interesting finds in this movie though- Oscar Nominated Actor Terrence Howard, and Top Chef cohost Padma Lakshmi. Who knew?

1. Gigli (2003)- Gigli is considered by many the worst movie ever made. Is this because of Jennifer Lopez? Probably not. After all, Maid in Manhattan wasn't terrible. But it probably wasn't because of Ben Affleck, Al Pacino, or Christopher Walken either. So we'll put it on J-Lo. At least that makes From Justin to Kelly only the 2nd biggest film flop for someone on American Idol.

Anyway, that wraps up this Britney post. Enjoy "Britney/Brittany!"