Some Thoughts About SNL 36x10: Bridges/Eminem and Lil Wayne

Tonight Jeff Bridges hosts SNL for the second time. You might not remember his first, he co-hosted with his brother Beau Bridges in a season 8 episode in 1983, with musical guest Randy Newman. That hosting gig was a year after his film Tron came out, 27 years later he is back at 30 Rock to promote Tron's sequel. In between he did everything from making a cult-class bowling comedy to winning an Academy Award for Best Actor.

Eminem tonight becomes the 23rd member of the Five-Timers club. He is the 8th member of the club to never host the show, along with Dave Grohl, Tom Petty, Randy Newman, James Taylor, Beck, Nate Mendel, and Dave Matthews. The Five-Timers club was first introduced when Tom Hanks hosted in 1990, here is the sketch, including a not yet famous Conan O'Brien and a random visit from Ralph Nader:

Saturday Night Live - Tom Hanks - 12/08/1990
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Eminem made his first appearance in 1999, as a co-musical guest with Dr. Dre and Snoop Dogg. Tonight he is joined by Lil Wayne, who appeared as a musical guest in the season 34 premiere in 2008, with host Michael Phelps.

Some Predictions for Tonight:
-With today's repeal of Don't Ask Don't Update. Tell, I can easily see the "Two Gay Guys from the Military" returning to Weekend. Hader and Armisen have also played the "Two Gay Guys" from Jersey and Connecticut.
-Rihanna and Eminem had one of the top 5 songs of 2010, and while Rihanna didn't perform it when she was musical guest, I could see her coming back to do it tonight.
-I don't expect a five-timers sketch for Eminem, but if there is the cameos could be high-profile and numerous.

Be back at 11:30 for the live blog!

Sketch 1- Christmas Eve in Washington D.C., with Kenan as Frosty the Snowman. Now we're seeing Obama's dreams for 2011. Unemployment drops, Wikileaks- McCain a Muslim, Palin runs. Now Hillary (again portrayed by new girl). Rahm, Pelosi, Biden. Unique, but quite amusing. A.

Monologue- Bridges is completely clean shaven. Jokes he must have done a good job when he hosted in 1983 for him to be asked back so soon. Now talking about the differences (or lack there of) between The Dude (his Big Lebowski character) and himself. And now here's Cookie Monster. And the two of them are singing Silver Bells. That was quite random. B. EDIT- Totally forgot about the Cookie Monster hosting SNL campaign. They did a great YouTube video for it:



Sketch 2- A message from Mark Zuckerberg(Samberg). And guess who he's interrupted by- Julian Assange, for the 3rd straight week! Talking about why he should have been Time's Man of the Year instead of Zuckerberg. It is getting old, but Hader does own it. B-.

Sketch 3- The Miley Cyrus Show, which I assumed was gunna come last week, but they pushed it to this week. She's doing the Conan combined celebrities baby bit, using Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, which makes Suri! Miley's drug lesson- "don't let your friends video you when you do things." Her guest tonight- Bridges as Nick Nolte. Funniest part- superimposing Bridges' face on Nick Nolte's mug shot. B-.

Sketch 4- Digital Short- Lonely Island with Akon, doing a song "I Just Had Sex." And John McEnroe! And Jessica Alba and Blake Lively! Classic Lonely Island style digital short, we haven't seen in a while. Solid. A-.

NEXT NEW EP ON JANUARY 8 WITH JIM CARREY AND THE BLACK KEYS!

Sketch 5- Looks like we're getting a send-off to Larry King. With Armisen reprising Larry, which he did on King's final show Thursday, interviewing the man himself in matching outfits. A sendoff to the people who made his show. Kenan as Jermaine Jackson, Wiig and Eliot as the Judds, Bridges as a dead on Dog the Bounty Hunter. He asks Jackson if he is an only child. He asks the Judds which one is the mother. And now Dog the Bounty Hunter is singing My Way to close it out. So random. B.

Sketch 6- Under Under Ground Records is back! One of the most random sketches from last year. With Crunkmas! Sudeikis and Pedrad own this. Another death for Ass Dan! Pharoah is DJ George Costanza. Why? Who knows! It's 2 minutes of every random thing the writers room can come up with. Just brilliant. A+.

Music 1- Eminem and Lil Wayne are performing "No Love." This song samples Haddaway's "What Is Love" which has a rich SNL history itself through Will Ferrell and Chris Kattan's Roxbury Guys sketches, and the film "A Night at the Roxbury" based on those sketches.

Weekend Update- DADT, Assange, Afghanistan, David Paterson, Walmart, and Michael Steele, as portrayed by Kenan. Stronger impression than I would've guessed. Weekend Update weatherman a terrible Brad Pitt impression, joined by Eliot as Angelina. A Harvard joke. The ScarJo/Ryan Reynolds divorce. And now a holiday message from Snookie (Moynihan), Stefon (Hader), and Gov. Paterson (Armisen). An odd performance of "Christmas Tree." Very weird. Not a great WU. C.

Sketch 7- TCM looking at the original cut of "A Wonderful Life," the Chanukah movie "This, You Call a Wonderful Life?" Great premise, can they follow through? Sudeikis pulling off a very strong Jimmy Stewart. A 43 minute deli argument! Amusing. The director also tried and failed with "A Mitzvah on West 84th Street." Well done. B+.

Sketch 8- Jeff'd, Jeff Bridges' version of Punk'd. Pranking Sam Elliot (Sudeikis) at the dry cleaner. He comes in very early and Elliot doesn't care. Now Abby as Maggie Gyllenhaal. He sends her roses at the front desk of her hotel. Kenan as Forest Whitaker. He replaces Forest's dog with a cat. Samberg as Billy Bob Thorton. Bridges is his limo driver. And he tells him right away that he's Jeff Bridges. Thorton gets pissed and pulls out a gun. And then he tells he's been Billy Bob'd. Seems like it was probably a funny idea in the writers room on Monday, but it didn't work so great. C.

Music 2- Eminem performs "Won't Back Down." Then he leaves and Lil Wayne comes on stage to perform "6 Foot 7 Foot."

Sketch 9- At an old timey General Store. The worker is Hader, with the client new girl. Wiig and Daniels are the introducers of the concept of gift wrapping. They wrap things modernly. Now Sudeikis comes to shoot up the shop. Not good. Easily the weak link of tonight's episode. D.

Sketch 10- A holiday message from the Kardashians. Pedrad and new girl as Kim and Kourtney each dressed as "Sexy Santa," and Eliot as Khloe dressed as Santa. They wish their friends a "merry Christmas," their agents and managers a "happy Chanuka," and their boyfriends a "happy Kwanzaa." Decent filler. B-.

So that wraps it up for 2010. A solid ep. Nothing unbelievable, but nothing absolutely terrible. Overall, and compared to this season, a pretty strong episode. B+.

In Which I Appear Shallow, Go Bergeronian, and Probably Go Off on Some Other Tangent(s)

This conversation came up at work my final week, and I decided to bring it to the blog. You know how couples sometimes create lists of the five celebrities they're allowed to hookup with if the situation presents itself? Well I'm not in a committed relationship, so I could hook with whoever I damn well please, but this was the creation of the list in the case that I needed one.

First some honorable mentions:

-Charlize Theron- She showed her sense of humor with her Arrested Development arc, and she is one of the most gorgeous women alive. Also I like her accent.

-Kate Hudson- Ideally Kate Hudson circa Almost Famous, but Kate Hudson today would do as well. And maybe my dating her would help the Mets win the World Series. (There's a joke nobody will get).

Alexis Bledel and Lauren Graham- I group them together for obvious reasons.* I've always been attracted to girls with blue eyes (see: Nulty, Lisa) and these two have possibly the bluest eyes I've ever seen.

*Fun Fact #5- I don't care if this sounds feminine, Gilmore Girls was truly one of the best written shows I ever remember watching. Luke and Lorelai were at the level of Ross and Rachel, Rory was utterly lovable, Paris' transition from hated rival to trusted friend was well done over a long period of time, and the way they brought back characters like Dean and Jess at different points was much more creative than the typical show bringing back all of its stars towards the end.

Fun Fact #6- I'm still annoyed Friends never found a way to bring back Richard towards the end. Same for Julie and Ugly Naked Guy. I did like how they brought back David (I believe season 9), Mark, and Janice.

Continuing on that theme (and then we'll get back to the good looking girls) I'm also annoyed The West Wing never brought back, or at least mentioned, Mandy. Sure she was an annoying character, but they brought back others (namely Sam Seaborn, Amy Gardner, Oliver Babbish, Ainsley Hayes, Bruno Gianelli, Joey Lucas, Andrea Wyatt, and Mallory O'Brien (Leo's daughter)). They also could've brought back Laurie, the prostitute Sam slept with to start the series, but I think she was already busy with House by then. With Entourage in the midst of its penultimate season, they've already brought back Amanda Daniels and Billy Walsh the past two weeks. I would like to see Nick Rubenstein, Adam Davies, Jamie Lynn Sigler, Dom, and Shauna's Assistant again in the remaining episode. But most importantly, I hope Mandy Moore, and Emily, Ari's original secretary (and E's gf-pre-Sloan) make their ways back to the show before the series finale.

Back to the list, honorable mentions also to Mandy Moore, Lauren Conrad, Kym Johnson (DWTS, left), Carmen Rasmusen (American Idol Season 2, right), Christina Aguilera, Joanna Krupa, Kristen Bell, Danica McKellar (Winnie on The Wonder Years and a math whiz, there will almost certainly be a more thorough post on her at a later date), Brittany Snow, Katherine Heigl, Heather Morris (Brittany on Glee) and Ashley Tisdale.

Which brings us to my Final Five. In Bergeronian Order*:

*When announcing who is safe and who is not on DWTS, Tom Bergeron always, for 10 seasons now, prefaces it by saying "in no particular order." Thus, when there is no particular order, it will henceforth be referred to as Bergeronian Order.

Fun Fact #7- Tom Bergeron and I share a birthday. Also Willie Mays, George Clooney, Tony Blair, former Jets DE John Abraham, Hornets PG Chris Paul, Sen. Richard Shelby (R-AL)*, Bob Seger, Weeb Ewbank, Martin Brodeur, Sigmund Freud, and Orson Welles.

Fun Fact #8- I can name 99 of the current 100 United States senators without looking, along with state and party affiliation. The one I can't name? Carte Goodwin (D-WV), who replaced the late Robert Byrd this summer. Luckily he isn't running for reelection, so I don't need to really learn it.

And now, the Final Five:

Julianne Hough- Julianne Hough started dancing on DWTS in season 4, which coincidentally (seriously, it was a coincidence) was the season I started watching. I fell for her instantly. She was my age, drop dead gorgeous, and had an incredible personality. She was funny, sweet, ditsy, and insanely talented. She was not even affected by the D/N Affect* despite how similar she and Derek look. The only thing that creeps me out is that allegedly Seacrest tried to date her since she was 17. She played hard to get with Ryan Seacrest for 5 years? Geesh.

*The D/N Affect is when a brother and sister look so similar to the point that if you put the brother in a wig you could legitimately confuse him for the sister. This makes the sister less attractive, regardless of how goodlooking she was to begin with. It is named for 2 sets of siblings which will go unnamed, but would be obvious to any member of Thespian Troupe 132 from like 2004-2008.

Kaley Cuoco- I watched 8 Simple Rules solely to see Kaley Cuoco. She was very cute at that point. Then she disappeared. Then Big Bang Theory started. She was more attractive than she was before. I don't watch Big Bang Theory solely for Kaley Cuoco, but if it wasn't as good as it is, I probably would. Also, the fact that her character on BBT is friends with nerds makes her seem more down to earth.

Blake Lively- Blake Lively is the rare actress who seems to always be smiling. I like that. Also I clearly have a thing for blondes. One question though- do you really want me to believe Blake Lively, Alexis Bledel, America Ferrera, and Amber Tamblyn all wear the same size pants? Because no, I don't believe that.

Brooklyn Decker- I had to pick this picture of Brooklyn Decker because literally every other picture was NSFW. Just google images her. Do it. I'll wait...

...Andy Roddick may never win a major (it appears Andy Roddick won the U.S. Open in 2003 when he was dating someone already mentioned twice in this post, so we'll say he'll never win a 2nd major, or a major in the era of Federer/Nadal, but you get the point) but that is a pretty damn good consolation prize.

Amanda Bynes- Amanda Bynes was my first celebrity crush who didn't have the last name Olsen. She had me from the first "'Dear Ashley,' that's me!" I have sat through horrendous movies just for Amanda Bynes. I also think Amanda Bynes is legitimately talented, although not so much on the singing (cough-Hairspray-cough). And while her recent bout of Favreitis* was stupid, I fully understand a child star not wishing to continue with acting. It was not a profession she chose to get into.

*Favreitis- The act of retiring and unretiring. Named for Falcons Packers Jets Vikings current former current QB Brett Favre.

Tomorrow starts law school orientation. The post will likely include something on that, on my Grey's-esque experience this evening, and either the Mets or the Jets. You'll just have to read to find out.