My Oscars Scorecard

Over the next few weeks, I will be watching each of the nine Oscar nominated best pictures.* For each I will fill out the following rubric.


*except for Moneyball, which I saw in theaters when it came out.

Acting- Self explanatory. How good the acting is.

Production- All production aspects (special effects, music, etc.)

Script- How good the script is.

Oscarness- How well it fits into the type of movies the Oscars normally award.

Each will be graded out of 10. The 4 will be added up and have an overall score out of 40. 

So far:

I'll make a new post after I've seen a couple more movies.

Completely Baseless Oscar Nomination Predictions

There's no reason to believe I would have any insight into the Oscar nominees. I haven't even seen most of these movies. But what the heck, right? There will be 5 nominees in each of the 4 acting categories, and between 5 and 10 in the Best Picture category. So here we go:


Supporting Actress


My Picks:
Octavia Spencer, "The Help"
Jessica Chastain, "The Help"
Berenice Bejo, "The Artist"
Shailene Woodle, "The Descendants"
Melissa McCarthy, "Bridesmaids"


Who I Probably Missed:
Janet McTeer, "Albert Nobbs"


Who I Wish Had a Shot:
Rose Byrne, "Bridesmaids"



Supporting Actor
My Picks:
Christopher Plummer, "Beginners"
Albert Brooks, "Drive"
Jonah Hill, "Moneyball"
Kenneth Branagh, "My Week with Marilyn"
Armie Hammer, "J. Edgar"


Who I Probably Missed:
Nick Nolte, "Warrior"


Who I Wish Had a Shot:
Alan Rickman, "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Pt. 2"


Best Actress


My Picks:
Meryl Streep, "The Iron Lady"
Viola Davis, "The Help"
Michelle Williams, "My Week with Marilyn"
Tilda Swinton, "We Need to Talk About Kevin"
Rooney Mara, "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo"


Who I Probably Missed:
Glenn Close, "Albert Nobbs"


Who I Wish Had a Shot:

Elizabeth Olsen, "Martha Marcy May Marlene"



Best Actor


My Picks:
George Clooney, "The Descendants"
Brad Pitt, "Moneyball"
Juan Dujuardin, "The Artist"
Michael Fassbender, "Shame"
Leonardo DiCaprio, "J. Edgar"


Who I Probably Missed:
Demian Bechir, "A Better Life"


Who I Wish Had a Shot:
Joseph Gordon-Levitt, "50/50"



Best Picture
(My guess is 7 films will be nominated, but I've put the next three I'd guess in parenthesis after those 7)



My Picks:
"The Artist"
"The Descendants"
"The Help"
"Hugo"
"Midnight in Paris"
"Moneyball"
"Bridesmaids"
("My Week with Marilyn")
("Tree of Life")
("War Horse")


Who I Probably Missed:
"The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" and "Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy"


Who I Wish Had a Shot:
"Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Pt. 2"

Renaldo Balkman is a Muppet

Some Random Thoughts on The Muppets

Disclaimer- I wrote this a while ago (last edited in December) but never completed it. Figured I'd post now after I rewatched the movie on DVD.

These thoughts are in bergeronian order. They mostly deal with or are inspired by The Muppets but also deal with some general Muppet stuff. There will be movie spoilers, so if you haven't seen it yet, feel free to not read:


1. Before I say anything else, let me say that The Muppets was generally fantastic. Anything negative I write about it here is complete nitpicking. It was just a terrific movie.

2. The cameos were slightly off. Not as a whole. But unlike the early Muppet movies The Muppets was trying to emulate- The Muppet Movie, The Great Muppet Caper, and The Muppets Take Manhattan- a large percentage of the cameos in the new film were the actors making cameos by playing themselves making cameos. Neil Patrick Harris, John Krasinski, Whoopi Goldberg, Selena Gomez, Rico Rodriguez, and James Carville all simply appeared (mostly very, very briefly) as themselves at the Muppet Telethon. In contrast, the brief cameos where the celebrities were playing a character were much more entertaining. David Grohl as Animool of The Moopets was inspired, Emily Blunt essentially recreated her The Devil Wears Prada role, and celebrities randomly popping up in small roles- Donald Glover, Sarah Silverman, Ken Jeong, Kristen Schaal, Alan Arkin, Zach Galifinakas etc. was much more in touch with previous Muppet film cameos.


3. There are two cameos I intentionally did not include in that last point. One was Jack Black, who's extended role may not even qualify as a cameo. He was a pretty perfect celebrity to have as the "host" of the telethon. Second is Jim Parsons. The past couple years, Parsons as Sheldon on The Big Bang Theory has become insufferable- and won two Emmys. In interviews, it always appears Parson's personality is frighteningly similar to the character he plays. So my excitement over his appearance in this movie was tempered at best. And he may have been the single best part of the film. His unique mannerisms and physical comedy skills were perfect for the role he played. His interview with Jimmy Kimmel where he discussed the role is embedded right here.


4. Is Dr. Bunsen Honeydew nearsighted or farsighted? I mean, he has no eyes. Are the glasses real or just to make him look smart? Has he ever been seen without glasses?


5. Jason Segel and I grew up during different eras in Muppet history. His focus was primarily honoring the legacy of The Muppet Show and the original three movies, my main memories of the Muppets is from Muppet Treasure Island, Muppets from Space, and Muppets Tonight. So I was glad to see Segel include some of the post-Henson era Muppets. The most prominent in the Muppets universe has been Pepe the Prawn, and he got a brief scene. In most of the post-Henson movies and specials Pepe has been a fairly prominent character. If the first tier has been Kermit, Piggy, Fozzie, and Gonzo, the second tier has probably consisted of The Electric Mayhem (particularly Animal, Dr. Teeth, and Janice), Rizzo the Rat, Pepe, and occasionally Rowlf, and a third tier with Scooter (who was in the second tier before Richard Hunt passed away), Rowlf (same with before Henson passed), Bunsen and Beaker, the Swedish chef, and Statler and Waldorf. In this film, Rowlf and Scooter had probably their biggest roles since the original films and series, while Rizzo, a major character in   Manhattan was simply a background character. Anyway, Clifford, as host of Muppets Tonight was a fairly prominent post-Henson character who did not show up, but Bobo the Bear, the security guard from Tonight played a fairly substantial role as one of Chris Cooper's henchmen. It also pays respect to Muppets from Space, where Bobo played a similar role to Jeffrey Tambor's villain.

6. There were some Muppets who did not make the cut. Like any Christopher Nolan Batman movie, there was no Robin. Bean Bunny, a character who became randomly big in the 80's as a Muppet Baby and in the various Disney World shows, does not show up. And unlike the earlier movies, The Muppets featured no Sesame Street crossover, as they are now owned by different companies.

Occupy Greendale

I watch a lot of television. I got very lucky last season; nearly everything I cared about got renewed. Sure, I enjoyed Mr. Sunshine, and occasionally Mad Love, Perfect Couples and Better with You, but the shows I cared about all got renewed.


Some of these were obvious- The Big Bang Theory, Modern Family, and Glee are substantial hits. How I Met Your Mother, The Office, 30 Rock, and Grey's Anatomy are central to the foundation of their respective networks for a long time now, and likely will go out on their own terms. Others were more surprising- Cougar Town and Parks and Recreation are moderately watched, if critically beloved. Breaking In was actually cancelled before it was renewed. Happy Endings, this season's best comedy, was the penultimate of the five HIMYMesque sitcoms to debut last season (after Perfect Couples, Mad Love, and Traffic Light, and before Friends with Benefits), was aired at a time of the year (starting in April) and in a time slot (10 and 10:30 after Cougar Town?!?) to be burned off. Heck, one of the stars (Damon Wayans Jr.) was cast in one of the biggest new sitcom pilots of this season (New Girl), assuming Happy Endings would never make it.


Community was also renewed. I'm not totally sure why. Three seasons is not enough for syndication, so this renewal would not boost them to that. NBC had a ton of comedy pilots, two of which (Bent and Best Friends Forever) still aren't scheduled to air. It's ratings are awful. It's critically beloved, but less so than P&R. It has virtually no award buzz, other than the fact that Joel McHale was in the Emmytones.

Community is not my favorite show. It maybe was, briefly, but it's been passed by P&R and HE and HIMYM's resurgence. But Community is not like any other show. It does things, it takes chances, it gets creative in ways that virtually any other network live-action sitcom does (sometimes, at its peak, 30 Rock was like this. It only occasionally is now). In fact, stylistically Community might share the most with Family Guy, albeit at a much higher level. Because of this, Community can reach extraordinarily greatness ("Modern Warfare," "Cooperative Calligraphy," "Conspiracy Theories and Interior Design," "Paradigms of Human Memory," and "Remedial Chaos Theory" are probably a top five, though I could be convinced into "Contemporary American Poultry," "Epidemology," "Advanced Dungeons and Dragons," and "A Fistful of Paintballs" fairly easily). But it can also feature massive duds ("Basic Rocket Science," the first three episodes of this season, and in my mind the show's worst episode, "Celebrity Pharmacology"). It isn't surprising then that while Community has attracted a strong, passoinate fan base, it has also turned off millions of viewers.


And so yesterday's decision by NBC to put Community on hiatus to start 2012 is not a surprise. And despite a fourth season bringing Community to the point of syndication, a cancellation in May would not be a surprise either. But that doesn't mean it's not a mistake.

Look, NBC is a fourth place network, and it isn't even close. The chances they've taken- starting with The Jay Leno Show and up to expanding The Sing-Off to a 2 hour, full season series- has failed, miserably. Of the seven shows NBC has debuted this season, two have been officially canceled (Playboy Club and Free Agents), one has been all-but canceled (Prime Suspect), and one is being essentially put out to pasture (Whitney). If NBC has one thing going for it, its critical praise. The network's failure has let them air, despite low ratings, Chuck, Parenthood, Friday Night Lights, and their comedy lineup for several years. Sometimes this pays off- Amy Poehler has consecutive Emmy nominations for P&R and the series got a Best Comedy nomination this past year, while Kyle Chandler and Jason Katims pulled off upset victories for FNL's final season, with the series and Connie Britton also earning nominations. Sometimes it won't pay off, but for a last place network, you have to take chances.

And there is no bigger chance than Community. One half hour spot isn't going to fix NBC, especially if that half hour spot is the newly renamed Are You There, Chelsea? (technically 30 Rock is replacing Community in the lineup, but since 30 Rock was a lock to return, Chelsea is the new face in NBC's crowd of 6 sitcoms). So why not keep a show that, when at its best, can be the talk of the internet?


Nobody is expecting six seasons and a movie. But if the alternatives are Whitney and Chelsea, NBC should take the chance with Community for at least a little longer.


In other words? Come on NBC. Pop. Pop.

2011-12 Week 8 NFL Picks

Because I attended last week's Jets game, I failed to make picks. My record remains 49-31. Picks are to win, not against spread, and home teams are in CAPS.

Colts over TITANS

Saints over RAMS

GIANTS over Dolphins

PANTHERS over Vikings

RAVENS over Cardinals

TEXANS over Jaguars

BILLS over Redskins

Lions over BRONCOS

STEELERS over Patriots

49ERS over Browns

SEAHAWKS over Bengals

EAGLES over Cowboys

Chargers over CHIEFS

Ex-Mets Roster

I took a stab at a roster of the best current Ex-Mets. I may have missed a few who, a la Cruz and Bautista, were in the Mets system but not the big league team. If you wanted to make a team without those guys, you could put Wigginton at 3B, Franceour in RF, and add, well I don't know, Lastings Milledge? Another bullpen spot for Joe Smith or Jason Isringhausen?

2011-12 Week 6 NFL Picks

Last week I went 7-6, bringing my record to 49-31. All the picks are to win, not against the spread. Home team in CAPS.

FALCONS over Panthers

Colts over BENGALS

LIONS over 49ers

PACKERS over Rams

GIANTS over Bills

STEELERS over Jaguars

Eaglees over REDSKINS

RAIDERS over Browns

RAVENS over Texans

PATRIOTS over Cowboys

Saints over BUCCANEERS

BEARS over Vikings

JETS over Dolphins

2011-12 Week 5 NFL Picks

Last week I went 9-7, despite starting 2-7 with the 1pm games. That brings my record for the season to 42-25. Again, all my picks are to win, not against the spread. Home teams in CAPS.

Eagles over BILLS

COLTS over Chiefs

Cardinals over VIKINGS

GIANTS over Seahawks

STEELERS over Titans

Saints over PANTHERS

Bengals over JAGUARS

TEXANS over Raiders

Buccaneers over 49ERS

PATRIOTS over Jets

Chargers over BRONCOS

Packers over FALCONS

LIONS over Bears

2011-12 Week 4 NFL Picks

Last week I went 11-5, bringing my season record to 33-15. Again all picks are to win, not against the spread. Home teams are in CAPS.

Panthers over BEARS

Bills over BENGALS

BROWNS over Titans

Lions over COWBOYS

Vikings over CHIEFS

RAMS over Redskins

EAGLES over 49ers

Saints over JAGUARS

Steelers over TEXANS

Giants over CARDINALS

Falcons over SEAHAWKS

PACKERS over Broncos

Patriots over RAIDERS

CHARGERS over Dolphins

RAVENS over Jets

BUCCANEERS over Colts